Back from my deep sleep....

Im so sorry people that i have not been blogging for like how many months.... urgh... haha... fadh busy sikit la dengan skolah.... fininhing school in like 3 months time... after that, GRADUATION DAY!!!!! after that ns..... kental per fadh ns..... =.=

anyway... fadh da penat la nak blog pasal bende 'gelap2', emotional.... only when i really need to okay? fadh promise.... anwys
to you... and only you..... please
leave us alone......
what more do u want?
u apologise to me saying all shitty things....
u ask me to do things which i know what i am doing and all.,...
u called him everyday......
what more do u want???
kalau nak sangat dier balik kan, go ahead...
yesss!!! GO AHEAD....
see if he wants u back....
if he wants u back i admit lose....
for now ure the LOser.........


and what?? u said 'i love u'
so sweet nyer........
if u loves him....
y do shitty things to him in the first place??
hmmmm?
my fault is it????
im sorry if im a better one than u.....
i dont want to fight with u or whatsoever k.....


keep on trying to win him back....
i wanna see this....
:)



*kisses*

TURNING COLD

Aku cuba untuk mendekati
Tapi engkau tiada peduli
Tulusnya niat di hati
Mungkin kau tersalah erti

Bukannya ingin merantai dirimu
Ataupun mengikat janji
Masih ada banyak lagi
Harus kau pelajari

Aku ingin kemesraan
Serta senyum keramahan
Biar kekal berterusan
Tak hilang di tengah jalan

Kau rahsiakan kedinginan menyelimuti hati
Aku juga kedinginan kerana sikapmu itu
Walaupun setebal mana selimut membaluti
Aku masih kedinginan sepi tanpa berteman

Kedinginanmu kerana malam
Yang masih lagi panjang

Kedinginanku jauh bandingan
Dengan dirimu

Usah biar malam tak berteman
Usah bair siang kekosongan
Sudilah kau memahami
Ketulusan hati ini

Andainya aku merajuk bawa hati
Dan kau pun membawa diri
Siapa harus disalahkan
Pasti kita berdua

**a song for u.
in the end, i have to leave for ur happiness.
everything is impossible between u and me.
:'(( sobbing

Why do i even fall for you.*sob*

I MISS 30T, i misses, hakim siti halim kane mirah yanie totot wawa isaac and all. I wanted to meet u guys but im uncapable of doing that. I can't come back. =(( i really can't even if i wanted to real bad. All i want is to meet u guys, hug u guys and apologise. And then i will leave. Atleast it puts me in peace. FADH REALLY MISSES ALL OF YOU. FADH IS SORRY.
All those moments keep coming back. Our laughter, our tears shed. All those really brings me back to where i use to stand. Who pick e up. Bring us up together. Fighting for what is ours, fighting for each other. Whatever it is my dearest, fadh will be here, supporting u guys always. Even if u guys are up there and im below here. Fadh still respect u guys.......... =((


........................
...........
......
Why do i even fall for u in the first place. Why do i even confesses that i love you. WHY WOULD I EVEN PLACE HIGH HOPES ON YOU WHEN I KNOW IT JUST TURNS OUT TO BE A DREAM? Fadh risk that because somehow fadh believes in you. Fadh believes in us. But that was just a dream...=(( woke up in the middle of no where.. no where..
Fadh dnt want money. Fadh taknak anything, fadh just want to be loved by you. Somehow these things are just plain nothing to you... but not to me....

Fadh had try my best.
Nothing is working.
You said u love me.
You said u care for me.
That phrases still lingers.=((
'i sayang u lah'.......
phrase that u said.

Whers all that?
U arent trying.
Fadh is really dissapointed in you.
Fadh thot u were different.............................
i wont say i love u if it isnt true now.
Fadh just plain stupid..........
PLAIN STUPID FOR HOPING..

I thought u can be my savior.
I thought u can protect me..............................
but...............................im so stupid to fantasizing.

Why do i let my dream this far.................

u kept saying sorrie when ure not.....

NOW I KNEW THAT BEING WITH YOU IS IMPOSSIBLE. NOT POSSIBLE.......

Fadh dream too much.
Too much that it brings me high than drop me off. crashing.
sigh.....
i failed in making u happy.
i failed in whtever u want me to.
im sorrie....................................................................................fadhLOVESyou.

A.Y.I.M.

i miss you and i love you.
im sorry that i make u sick and make u stressed up.
im really sorry.
i just wanted u.
ure so nice and u keep up with my attitude.
and i thank u for that.

im sorry that im being pain in the ass.
im sorry.... :'(
it just hurts me knowing ure not over ur ex.
maybe being with ur ex once again is the best thing to do..
im pulling myself away.
maybe thats will ease you.
BUT I DONT WANT TO!!!!
I DONT WANT TO!!!!

ure thinking too much.
i think u want ur ex back..
nevermind, go on with ur ex..
u will be happy, ur ex will be happy...........
:'(

i misjudge myself.
i misplace u around.
im sorryyyy...

im trying to be the best for you.
be what u want me to be.
make u love me.
but indeed i failed.
:'( :'(

its best that i leave u.
my appearance just make u more sick and all stressed up....
IM SORRY BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.......

you dont know how much it hurts and how much its killing me.
tears falling everytime thinking,
im sorry i make you feel unsecure and irritated...
but its the speech of my tiny little heart.................
....................
..............................
......
....................
.........................fadhLOVESyou.

I TOOK THE NIGHT. ;)

Omg!! i love this song. Very nice lyrics. here goes..



Oh boy
Who does she think she is?
Yeah who is she?
I don’t know what she’s doing?
I think its dancing.
She thinks she’s fly with that…
Uh what is that…a Gucci bag?
Oh boy I really don’t either.
What ever.

Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way
Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way

Every time I walk in the club
They hating on me cuz they know I look good
My hair done right and my dress real tite
All eyes on me I took the night.
Every time I walk in the club
They hating on me cuz they know I look good
My hair done right and my dress real tite
All eyes on me I took the night.
I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
All eyes on me I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
All eyes on me I took the night

Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way
Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way

Every time I walk in the club
They hating on me cuz they know I look good
My hair done right and my dress real tite
All eyes on me I took the night.
Every time I walk in the club
They hating on me cuz they know I look good
My hair done right and my dress real tite
All eyes on me I took the night.
I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
All eyes on me I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
All eyes on me I took the night

One two four three
None of these bitches look better than me
Better then me better than me
None of these bitches look better than me
One two four three
None of these bitches look better than me
Better then me better than me
None of these bitches look better than me
One two four three
None of these bitches look better than me
Better then me better than me
None of these bitches look better than me
One two four three
None of these bitches look better than me
Better then me better than me
None of these bitches look better than me

Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way
Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way
Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way
Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way

Every time I walk in the club
They hating on me cuz they know I look good
My hair done right and my dress real tite
All eyes on me I took the night.
Every time I walk in the club
They hating on me cuz they know I look good
My hair done right and my dress real tite
All eyes on me I took the night.
I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
All eyes on me I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
All eyes on me I took the night

One two four three
None of these bitches look better than me
Better then me better than me
None of these bitches look better than me
One two four three
None of these bitches look better than me
Better then me better than me
None of these bitches look better than me
One two four three
None of these bitches look better than me
Better then me better than me
None of these bitches look better than me

Every time I walk in the club
They hating on me cuz they know I look good
My hair done right and my dress real tite
All eyes on me I took the night.

against

to whoever it may concern:

shutting my mouth is wrong
saying out stuff is wrong
what do u guys expect me to do?
can say all u want okay?
i know what im doing.
whats the use of being nice when im not? ryte?
maybe the word freelance is wrong?? maybe..
but i am what?
no longer in any..
dance only when people want to..
isnt that that?
hmmmm.
da lah penat uhh.
da malas....
nak maafkan, maafkan lah, kalau taknak terpulang........

.........................

ni lah manusia.
tak boleh nampak orang senang kan?
jadi jahat salah, jadi baik salah.
macam maner kan?
bila nak jadi baik ader je nak comment.
so how now people?

just keep quiet?
and go on?
yes i should...
:)

LOVE u guys.
mwaaaahhhh!!

Splits

My body is aching like shit. It's been a long time since i perform? :) yesterday was the first time. Perform at Dunman high with fawly, ryna, dydy. hmm. they are so funny! can't stop laughing. vimal was there too. it was a last minute thing. they called me asking if im free on friday, and since i got nothing on friday i said yes. and was suppose to come to learn on thursday but then project still not done. so very stressful u see. i came on friday and learn 1 new choreo. haha. all the positioning on the day itself. it was a last minute thing though, but we had fun performing, break fasting, nasi goreng ikan bilis. :) anna and abang sani was there too.

vimal and his junior are really cute. good job guys. the crowd was crazy. :) thanks people.

im just a freelancer now.. not inside any.
anwy a big thanks to dydy, fawly and ryna for giving me opportunity to dance with u guys. :)
love u guys.

DEAD by NIGHT

woke up at 7.30 and leave home at 8.30. Reaches school at around 9.30. Class starts at 8. So yeah. Its normal for fadh to be late. :) ANWYS, TODAY IM STAYING IN SCHOOL. HOW BOUT THAT??!! URGH!! stay till at around 9 i guess?? Finishing my group project. Last2 aku ngn lina dengan fadz yang kene buat CREDITS when u are needed to do it. The credits that u do didnt even match my standard. And and, U SLEEP!! WHILE WE WERE DOING OUR WORK. ERGH!! GETTING ON MY NERVES AH U!!!

today also buka at school. sigh.
having an asthma attack. not that bad but i cant breathe. nvmind then.
tsk.
need to go out and buy food somemore. lazy sey.
issshhh.. now im tired and want to sleep.
but i cant.
i need to assist my group in the project........
:)
update again later ya?
MUCH LOVES.
fadh
KISS

HOLY

Today is the third day of the holy month, which is the Ramadhan. What a great month. :) The month where we all fast, fighting the hunger and thirst. Feeling how the unfortunates feel eating only once a day and stuff. I may be fasting but im not that 'clean' yet. Still long way to go. This is the month where u can earn the most pahala. :) so people who fast, good job, keep going and for those who aint fasting, try. If not then that's your problem. :)

Im happy that u forgive me and texted me. I was shocked at the same time happy. U make the effort to ransacked ur places to find that damn small thing just to text. Aww. I really appreciate what u did. It really saddens me while typing the msg to u.
And to see that u still care and still text me to wish me all the best. I knew it that i was never good to be with. SIGH. Walking pass ur place makes me remember stuff that bring tears. All the laughing, all the crying... :'( at this point of time, i feel calm.

And again in this Holy month, i would like to apologise to everyone in this world that i have hurt or make u cry. Its my fault. Im not being loyal when u guys are being loyal to me. Fadh minta maaf pader semue. I just hope you people can forgive me. Those who cant forgive me then its okay.. Fadh dont lose anything when u nt forgive. infact u gain sins because this is the month or asking for forgiveness and to forgive...

Slamat menyambut bulan puase kawan2.
MWAAAAAAHHHH.
Fadh loves all of you.

OM MY GOD!

don't call me a dancer. im no longer dancing. kicked out. cant say anything. cant speak anything. just respect people decision. its not that im not fighting for my passion but im weak now. freedom of speech isnt by my side anymore.... sigh.
haiyo... i got my own reason.
what for i spend time with the people that hating me..
whoever want to ditch me as their friends or whatever..
please do..
ure not my everything though........


..................


gonna spend time with my bf today, kaiflux. and my girls, diyanah lina and our cute little boy nizam.
maybe ahyew is coming wth her girls.
yay!! there lighted up my life once again..
i miss ahyew so much. alot okay!!!!
maybe meeting her later..

.................

leading a single life is fun though. its really fun to a certain extend.
i miss the time when i was scolded, pampered and stuff.
sigh.
that day will come 1 day.
i wanted to change to straight.
but im scared. i takot i cant jager that girl.
what if in the middle of relationship my heart change? how?
someone please help me..........

.................

i wanna do photography with bestie kai and the rest.
omg!! photography. nak suruh kai ajar........
hee!!
saving up money to buy dslr camera i think??
HAHAHAH!!!
:)
OKAY THATS ALL FOR TODAY.
WANNA GO HOME GET READY AND STUFF.
MUCH LOVE.
MWAAAHHHHH!!!

practice make perfect.

had practice. long time since i had practice. abit stiff but wth more practice will be like nrmal again. abit tired. body aching...
life is abit better. by only 3 percent.. urgh.. not much kan??
my life use to be a beautiful park, with a beautiful pond..
now it just left a piece of land, and the pond had dried up. it rains alot but it never fill the pond anymore.how i wish he misses me too.. but i doubt so. he got nice people around him who loves him alot. who care for him..


ive been defeated....
loser i am.............................

.......................
......
...........
..................
..
.......................

:'(
killing me softly with his song..
killing me softly with his song..
his song..
strumming my whole life
with his fingers....
im still missing u right here.

EXHAUST!!

tiring day i have. haizz. irah came my house at 8 plus,waking me up when i am not suppose to be awake. hmmphh!! thanks irah. -.- then wait for lina and faizal. lina nyer pandai luper bwk props. da kene go back home. then she text me, 'fadh! aku luper bwk kunci rumah'.
again -.- sengal ubi si lina ni. then get ready and stuff and then start shooting again. after that ate at home, then chill2. they waited for me to get ready then we went town. hehe.

met kai and diyanah too. awww. bestfriend reunion.
best sey.
long time since we went out together. :)
i really miss them......

my leg hurts alot. :'(
anwy it was fun.
worth hurting my leg.

ouhya!! me and irah went to manicure.
urgh!! the person membebel sayong y i bite my nail. tapi skarang da better.
i need to stop biting my nails.
nanti da tak lawa sey


.........................

i am missing the one i hurt the most.
haizz..
too bad for me. deserve it.. :'(
just wanna tell u fadh really misses u so much.
:'(((((
sigh*crying*

..................................

i suck i know.
how shitty i am, i do respect people now.
i have learn to respect.
appreciating people.
if basically u dnt have respect for me, then its okay. u still gain my respect..
cause i dont lose anything from respecting..

enough said..

i know im trying to change.
if people cant accept me for my change,
then just ignore me.

i wanna change way of me in a relationship,
am trying to..
way i look, physically..
way i appreciate people, emotionally..

basically i wanna change everything..
i swear im gonna change, insya allah.....

.....................................

ya allah tuhan ku, fadh mintak maaf.
tolong lembotkan hati2 orang yang fadh pernah luka..
lembutkan hati mereka supaya mereka dapat memaafkan fadh.... :'(
amin................

UN-control

Every day im awaken by my own ringtone. felt lazy to rise up to the morn. stretches and wriggle around bed.. feel like forever to reach to school. but why did i choose to go school when i can NOT go school? ....
it's my pillar of strength..
my best friends.. lina, iera, kaiflux, nizam and fadzli..
they always make my day in school.
make me laugh.
listen to me when i needed them.
make me feel strong and fight for my rights.
very protective.
i just love them so much.
i just needed them.

but however..
that doesnt complete me..
its like 40 percent of me is not complete..
.....
LOVE..
maybe some say its not important..
but to me it is..
friend can be ur someone who loves u..
but someone who is ur lover loves u more than ur friends love u..
but i never ever abandon both..

i just want someone who is loving..
care for me..
scold me when i do stupid things.
comfort me when im in despair.
nevermind the money.
someone who accept me for who iam.

a few times i confesses that i like someone.
it turns out well as a friend.
but as time pass by, it fades away.
u fade away.
leaving me crying uncontrollably.
u just pop all over.
mostly at night when it was time im lazing around and dreaming. that makes me teared.

im not trying to gain sympathy.
i just wanted people who at least appreciate what i tell em.
example. when i say im starting to love u back, or even, i just want u back....

at least show that u care..
it saddens me when u ignored when im trying so hard to try..
it leaves me crying..
yes im emotional..
so??sigh.

sometimes i just feel shitty being in a relationship.
some leave me suffers for a long period.
some leave me in a state where im stuck in the middle.
some leave me confuse to either trust or not.

im not shitty.
im not a ditching machine.
im not an asshole.

some may say eh! been that done that.
but are u sure u have been that done that.
its different in every relationship.
its NEVER the same. what u guys have been through is not the same as what i have been through..
IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME..

in life, we are meant to be given chance..
be it once?
twice?
trice?
etc?
in the end its boundaries..
its the way we are being test..
even if it hurts u once or twice and etc.
even if it hurts me once or twice..

im just tired form crying really..
im really getting bored..
i wanna settle down with anyone that came in and win my heart.
seriously...................................................................................................................................................................................................

sigh*crying*

The day.

Another refreshing day. hmm. Today is the first day i go to school after a few weeks of shooting. shooting was fun. it was splendid. and i hope they had fun too working with me. :) finally our shooting is done. just need to cut the unwanted parts and do abit of editing. yerp. reaches school at 10 when i was suppose to reach at 8. pfft!! fall asleep in the train. almost over-shot. but nevermind. miss my friend in school. gonna eat luch with them. :)))))

my right eyes is swollen. due to too much of crying and dnt know y. it hurts my eyes alot. i cant rubbed when its itchy. have a hard time waking up. cos the swollen grow an inch bigger everynight i guess? urgh. its itchy like shit...

anyway to ace. thank you so much for comforting me.. thank you so much.. :)) thank you being a listening ear..
well for ur case.. dnt give up on her..
she's might be feeling very sad.. extreme sadness..
but c'mon..
if u can comfort me.. y cant u kan?
dnt say ur helpless.
ure not helpless.. its just that u dont know what to do..
its okay..
i know deep inside ure a strong-willed-guy..
dnt worry.. like u said, 'im a text away' ;))
fadh is always here....

to kaiflux again.
PLEASE LAH GET WELL SOON!!
MENDAK LAH SAK PAT SKOLAH NI!!
TAKDE KAKI MEPEK!!
nizam ngan aku je..
incomplete seh rasenye..
this week aku nak ajak kau kelua ni.. da lamer tak g tengok wayang ngan kau..
we eat dinner.. then dudok pat spinelli minom kopi.. before that lets buy stuff for us okay? hehe.... da lah last week tak jadi..
i hope this weekend u and nizam can make it..
A DAY SPEND WITH BESTIES.

luckily i still got my school friends to cling on. thank you guys...

im already tired saying these words.. again.. im sorry again..
i even make a public apology here..
its up to u guys to accept it or not..
this is just plain humiliation..

WE DO IT ONCE, WE DO IT GOOD~Mr ramamzo ninsawi

might as well disperse.

i dont know whats happening. im rotting. im dying slowly. im falling. i see safety net but actually its just an illusion. mind playing games. now i hit the floor hard. its just the end. for muhammad fadhli...

i just wanna cry till my eyes bleed. i dont wanna know whats there for me outside there. i just want the olden days back. the people who i use to love. the people who use to make me laugh. the people who cry with...

dream on FUCK!!
around of applause to muhammad fadhli for failing in life...
what wan told me is true. its the past sak...
true enough...
...
he likes this someone who is close to me...
he wanted him...
he is sincere in giving him a second chances...
both are nice guys...
very sweet...
just get along will both of u...
it will definitely makes me happy a little...
how could u guys let boundaries block u guys...
c'monla...

nevermind my problems and nevermind my sorrowness...
u guys need to be happy wth each other...
pleaseeeeeee... :'(


it is hard for me but am trying to let it go...


im sorry to the people that i hurt the most, siti and isaac...
im sorry that i did those things...
im sorry...
its not that i meant to hurt u guys...
but........
basically i just suck in both relationships...
all those sarcasticness and shitness that i do...
it all come back...
and it feel sucky...

i know u guys cant be bothered and couldnt care less... this is an apology from muhammad fadhli.

its hard to be forgiven...

i put that in ur hand to judge...

basically people, im not the kind that is worth u falling for...
not the kind that is worth u love...
not the kind that is worth u care for...
not worth at all...
im just like a piece of rubbisg scattered on the floor...
............................
.......
............
..................
....
.............
.........

im just worthless to earn for..

Saddens me.

i miss you i want u.. but u ignore me..it seems that u dont care even if im there.. im like invisible. im sorry that i that the last time.. was an asshole back then.. im trying to make it up but then.. haizz.. im sorry but i think am serious now.. i know u cant be bothered with me..

:'( truly said i miss you so much..
since the day we met again.. and again..
what if it doesnt work?
u said it..
...................
i just cant express myself..
my inner thing..
u dont like it when im being emo'ish and stuff..

u finally say it that u misses me..
im touch..

i keep watching the video that i recorded..
it bring smile to my face..
watch it everyday..
ure just different in person and in msges..
u seems caring and sweet in person..

i just want u to know what i feel towards you..
i know ure afraid to go on relationship again..
am not forcing u..
maybe u have someone else..
please tell me.. so that i wont bother u..

..............
.....................
.....
.............

FADH MISSES YOU :'(

MISSES.

I misses kaiflux alot. he fall sick. he seems very sick today when i was video-calling with him. he sounded dead. not the normal crapping kai. haizz. get well soon please deary bestie. miss us going out watching movies, having dinner at ur favourite fast food reataurant, BURGER KING..... i will pray that u get well soon kay? :D

I MISS AZURA TOO!!
will be out with her tomorrow!! yay!! after so long we last met. miss ur laugh and all. haha. lets eat at fareast nyer nasi ayam penyet!! sweating like shit. remember? OMG!!! CAN'T WAIT!!!

and again tmrw gonna meet lina and diyanah in the morn.. YAY!! TMRW IS BESTIE DAY OUT!! diyanah lina and azura should meet up. confirm i will get stomach ulser. haha. funny bunch of people...

missing alot of people. i cant mention their names. haiizzz..

anwy looking forward for tmrws day.......

Part of the List

i have been sick for quite sometime. It has been a week since im sick and i am still sick. Runny nose, slight fever, headache, vomitting and coughing.. so much for that. plus i need to redo write my group storyline plus script. our story were rejected. fuck!! i just hate being in this situation...

out of the blue, people is blaming me for things that happen. i know u love and care for him more than u love and care for me. true enough. but u only listen to 1 party. have u even have the idea what im going through? have u even have the idea of how im feeling and why do i react that way? i dont think so. im not disrespecting u okay, but com'on laa.

if god were to put me and him inside a lake full of crocodile, i bet u gonna save him. so yah. i dnt bother to quarel. after all ure my sister so........
i just might as well keep my mouth shut and just smile.

now i got no one okay except for my bestie. but they are busy with their life and relationships. i cant expect them to be there for me 24 7 right? now it all comes to a conclusion, that i will be blame in future for shit happens.
thank you so much....

I HATE YOU!!!

i just hate you now. Both of you. Why arent you guys tell me the truth? I HATE BOTH OF YOU!!! I HATE YOUUUUUUU BOTHHH!!!!! how could u guys do this to me? I do did bad stuff contacting others and stuff, but i didnt do stuffs!!!!!!!! OMG!!! how sweet kan korang? i just feel like slapping both your face sak... FUCK LA SAK!!! and you!! U KNOW HOW I AND HIM!!!! common sense la siak!!!!! g layan kan buat aper???

AND YOU!!!!! I SAID STOP DRINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IM SO DISAAPOINTED IN YOU. NEXT TIME IF U WANNA GO CLUB KAN? JUST GO K. DNT BOTHER TELLING ME!!!!

THANKS BOTH OF U.
THANKS FOR HURTING ME!!!
I APPRECIATE THAT A LOT!!!!!

TAKE A BOW.

im taking a bow from my school work. there's so much things to do. storyboarding, assignments and shooting and recording and bla bla bla. im not a robot. im a human. ive been having body aches these few days. barely have the energy from home to school and back. haiyo.. papa, i need a new laptop please.. :'( im struggling using that damn stupid notebook. :'( pleaseeeeeeeee......

im missing so much people now..
analeigh :'( i shed a tears when she texted me just now morning.
tamara :'(
isaac :'(
everyone... :'(

i have not watch movies for the past 3 4 months. :'(
i wanna watch transformer..
but it seems that everyone is busy..
haizzz..
really feel like crying now..
i got no time for myself..
if only there's someone who would take me out and just hang around..
making smile a little will do..

if no one would like to go out wth me then i will go out on my own. watch movie on my own, eat my dinner alone and just chill alone.. that will at least satisfy me just a tiny biny bit.

lately, i feel lonely. even though there's internet connection at home.
cigarette, television and food at home. its very different. i dont know why..... :'(

friday, there's a full dress reheasal at suntec city.
then saturday and sunday is the day. performance day. infront of minister and president. how about that?. my knee hurts. just a lil bit. i hit my knee on the floor while doing splits. whatever kan.......

im the paitao KING? whatever okay SAB. anwy , so what if u are piss of me. its my dad who rule my life and not u. so i listen to him. and not U!! want to blog bout me? then go ahead okay? cos i dnt even care. :)

tahts all for today afternoon. im tired.. very tired..