practice make perfect.

had practice. long time since i had practice. abit stiff but wth more practice will be like nrmal again. abit tired. body aching...
life is abit better. by only 3 percent.. urgh.. not much kan??
my life use to be a beautiful park, with a beautiful pond..
now it just left a piece of land, and the pond had dried up. it rains alot but it never fill the pond anymore.how i wish he misses me too.. but i doubt so. he got nice people around him who loves him alot. who care for him..


ive been defeated....
loser i am.............................

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:'(
killing me softly with his song..
killing me softly with his song..
his song..
strumming my whole life
with his fingers....
im still missing u right here.

EXHAUST!!

tiring day i have. haizz. irah came my house at 8 plus,waking me up when i am not suppose to be awake. hmmphh!! thanks irah. -.- then wait for lina and faizal. lina nyer pandai luper bwk props. da kene go back home. then she text me, 'fadh! aku luper bwk kunci rumah'.
again -.- sengal ubi si lina ni. then get ready and stuff and then start shooting again. after that ate at home, then chill2. they waited for me to get ready then we went town. hehe.

met kai and diyanah too. awww. bestfriend reunion.
best sey.
long time since we went out together. :)
i really miss them......

my leg hurts alot. :'(
anwy it was fun.
worth hurting my leg.

ouhya!! me and irah went to manicure.
urgh!! the person membebel sayong y i bite my nail. tapi skarang da better.
i need to stop biting my nails.
nanti da tak lawa sey


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i am missing the one i hurt the most.
haizz..
too bad for me. deserve it.. :'(
just wanna tell u fadh really misses u so much.
:'(((((
sigh*crying*

..................................

i suck i know.
how shitty i am, i do respect people now.
i have learn to respect.
appreciating people.
if basically u dnt have respect for me, then its okay. u still gain my respect..
cause i dont lose anything from respecting..

enough said..

i know im trying to change.
if people cant accept me for my change,
then just ignore me.

i wanna change way of me in a relationship,
am trying to..
way i look, physically..
way i appreciate people, emotionally..

basically i wanna change everything..
i swear im gonna change, insya allah.....

.....................................

ya allah tuhan ku, fadh mintak maaf.
tolong lembotkan hati2 orang yang fadh pernah luka..
lembutkan hati mereka supaya mereka dapat memaafkan fadh.... :'(
amin................

UN-control

Every day im awaken by my own ringtone. felt lazy to rise up to the morn. stretches and wriggle around bed.. feel like forever to reach to school. but why did i choose to go school when i can NOT go school? ....
it's my pillar of strength..
my best friends.. lina, iera, kaiflux, nizam and fadzli..
they always make my day in school.
make me laugh.
listen to me when i needed them.
make me feel strong and fight for my rights.
very protective.
i just love them so much.
i just needed them.

but however..
that doesnt complete me..
its like 40 percent of me is not complete..
.....
LOVE..
maybe some say its not important..
but to me it is..
friend can be ur someone who loves u..
but someone who is ur lover loves u more than ur friends love u..
but i never ever abandon both..

i just want someone who is loving..
care for me..
scold me when i do stupid things.
comfort me when im in despair.
nevermind the money.
someone who accept me for who iam.

a few times i confesses that i like someone.
it turns out well as a friend.
but as time pass by, it fades away.
u fade away.
leaving me crying uncontrollably.
u just pop all over.
mostly at night when it was time im lazing around and dreaming. that makes me teared.

im not trying to gain sympathy.
i just wanted people who at least appreciate what i tell em.
example. when i say im starting to love u back, or even, i just want u back....

at least show that u care..
it saddens me when u ignored when im trying so hard to try..
it leaves me crying..
yes im emotional..
so??sigh.

sometimes i just feel shitty being in a relationship.
some leave me suffers for a long period.
some leave me in a state where im stuck in the middle.
some leave me confuse to either trust or not.

im not shitty.
im not a ditching machine.
im not an asshole.

some may say eh! been that done that.
but are u sure u have been that done that.
its different in every relationship.
its NEVER the same. what u guys have been through is not the same as what i have been through..
IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME..

in life, we are meant to be given chance..
be it once?
twice?
trice?
etc?
in the end its boundaries..
its the way we are being test..
even if it hurts u once or twice and etc.
even if it hurts me once or twice..

im just tired form crying really..
im really getting bored..
i wanna settle down with anyone that came in and win my heart.
seriously...................................................................................................................................................................................................

sigh*crying*

The day.

Another refreshing day. hmm. Today is the first day i go to school after a few weeks of shooting. shooting was fun. it was splendid. and i hope they had fun too working with me. :) finally our shooting is done. just need to cut the unwanted parts and do abit of editing. yerp. reaches school at 10 when i was suppose to reach at 8. pfft!! fall asleep in the train. almost over-shot. but nevermind. miss my friend in school. gonna eat luch with them. :)))))

my right eyes is swollen. due to too much of crying and dnt know y. it hurts my eyes alot. i cant rubbed when its itchy. have a hard time waking up. cos the swollen grow an inch bigger everynight i guess? urgh. its itchy like shit...

anyway to ace. thank you so much for comforting me.. thank you so much.. :)) thank you being a listening ear..
well for ur case.. dnt give up on her..
she's might be feeling very sad.. extreme sadness..
but c'mon..
if u can comfort me.. y cant u kan?
dnt say ur helpless.
ure not helpless.. its just that u dont know what to do..
its okay..
i know deep inside ure a strong-willed-guy..
dnt worry.. like u said, 'im a text away' ;))
fadh is always here....

to kaiflux again.
PLEASE LAH GET WELL SOON!!
MENDAK LAH SAK PAT SKOLAH NI!!
TAKDE KAKI MEPEK!!
nizam ngan aku je..
incomplete seh rasenye..
this week aku nak ajak kau kelua ni.. da lamer tak g tengok wayang ngan kau..
we eat dinner.. then dudok pat spinelli minom kopi.. before that lets buy stuff for us okay? hehe.... da lah last week tak jadi..
i hope this weekend u and nizam can make it..
A DAY SPEND WITH BESTIES.

luckily i still got my school friends to cling on. thank you guys...

im already tired saying these words.. again.. im sorry again..
i even make a public apology here..
its up to u guys to accept it or not..
this is just plain humiliation..

WE DO IT ONCE, WE DO IT GOOD~Mr ramamzo ninsawi

might as well disperse.

i dont know whats happening. im rotting. im dying slowly. im falling. i see safety net but actually its just an illusion. mind playing games. now i hit the floor hard. its just the end. for muhammad fadhli...

i just wanna cry till my eyes bleed. i dont wanna know whats there for me outside there. i just want the olden days back. the people who i use to love. the people who use to make me laugh. the people who cry with...

dream on FUCK!!
around of applause to muhammad fadhli for failing in life...
what wan told me is true. its the past sak...
true enough...
...
he likes this someone who is close to me...
he wanted him...
he is sincere in giving him a second chances...
both are nice guys...
very sweet...
just get along will both of u...
it will definitely makes me happy a little...
how could u guys let boundaries block u guys...
c'monla...

nevermind my problems and nevermind my sorrowness...
u guys need to be happy wth each other...
pleaseeeeeee... :'(


it is hard for me but am trying to let it go...


im sorry to the people that i hurt the most, siti and isaac...
im sorry that i did those things...
im sorry...
its not that i meant to hurt u guys...
but........
basically i just suck in both relationships...
all those sarcasticness and shitness that i do...
it all come back...
and it feel sucky...

i know u guys cant be bothered and couldnt care less... this is an apology from muhammad fadhli.

its hard to be forgiven...

i put that in ur hand to judge...

basically people, im not the kind that is worth u falling for...
not the kind that is worth u love...
not the kind that is worth u care for...
not worth at all...
im just like a piece of rubbisg scattered on the floor...
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im just worthless to earn for..

Saddens me.

i miss you i want u.. but u ignore me..it seems that u dont care even if im there.. im like invisible. im sorry that i that the last time.. was an asshole back then.. im trying to make it up but then.. haizz.. im sorry but i think am serious now.. i know u cant be bothered with me..

:'( truly said i miss you so much..
since the day we met again.. and again..
what if it doesnt work?
u said it..
...................
i just cant express myself..
my inner thing..
u dont like it when im being emo'ish and stuff..

u finally say it that u misses me..
im touch..

i keep watching the video that i recorded..
it bring smile to my face..
watch it everyday..
ure just different in person and in msges..
u seems caring and sweet in person..

i just want u to know what i feel towards you..
i know ure afraid to go on relationship again..
am not forcing u..
maybe u have someone else..
please tell me.. so that i wont bother u..

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FADH MISSES YOU :'(

MISSES.

I misses kaiflux alot. he fall sick. he seems very sick today when i was video-calling with him. he sounded dead. not the normal crapping kai. haizz. get well soon please deary bestie. miss us going out watching movies, having dinner at ur favourite fast food reataurant, BURGER KING..... i will pray that u get well soon kay? :D

I MISS AZURA TOO!!
will be out with her tomorrow!! yay!! after so long we last met. miss ur laugh and all. haha. lets eat at fareast nyer nasi ayam penyet!! sweating like shit. remember? OMG!!! CAN'T WAIT!!!

and again tmrw gonna meet lina and diyanah in the morn.. YAY!! TMRW IS BESTIE DAY OUT!! diyanah lina and azura should meet up. confirm i will get stomach ulser. haha. funny bunch of people...

missing alot of people. i cant mention their names. haiizzz..

anwy looking forward for tmrws day.......