Back from my deep sleep....

Im so sorry people that i have not been blogging for like how many months.... urgh... haha... fadh busy sikit la dengan skolah.... fininhing school in like 3 months time... after that, GRADUATION DAY!!!!! after that ns..... kental per fadh ns..... =.=

anyway... fadh da penat la nak blog pasal bende 'gelap2', emotional.... only when i really need to okay? fadh promise.... anwys
to you... and only you..... please
leave us alone......
what more do u want?
u apologise to me saying all shitty things....
u ask me to do things which i know what i am doing and all.,...
u called him everyday......
what more do u want???
kalau nak sangat dier balik kan, go ahead...
yesss!!! GO AHEAD....
see if he wants u back....
if he wants u back i admit lose....
for now ure the LOser.........


and what?? u said 'i love u'
so sweet nyer........
if u loves him....
y do shitty things to him in the first place??
hmmmm?
my fault is it????
im sorry if im a better one than u.....
i dont want to fight with u or whatsoever k.....


keep on trying to win him back....
i wanna see this....
:)



*kisses*

TURNING COLD

Aku cuba untuk mendekati
Tapi engkau tiada peduli
Tulusnya niat di hati
Mungkin kau tersalah erti

Bukannya ingin merantai dirimu
Ataupun mengikat janji
Masih ada banyak lagi
Harus kau pelajari

Aku ingin kemesraan
Serta senyum keramahan
Biar kekal berterusan
Tak hilang di tengah jalan

Kau rahsiakan kedinginan menyelimuti hati
Aku juga kedinginan kerana sikapmu itu
Walaupun setebal mana selimut membaluti
Aku masih kedinginan sepi tanpa berteman

Kedinginanmu kerana malam
Yang masih lagi panjang

Kedinginanku jauh bandingan
Dengan dirimu

Usah biar malam tak berteman
Usah bair siang kekosongan
Sudilah kau memahami
Ketulusan hati ini

Andainya aku merajuk bawa hati
Dan kau pun membawa diri
Siapa harus disalahkan
Pasti kita berdua

**a song for u.
in the end, i have to leave for ur happiness.
everything is impossible between u and me.
:'(( sobbing

Why do i even fall for you.*sob*

I MISS 30T, i misses, hakim siti halim kane mirah yanie totot wawa isaac and all. I wanted to meet u guys but im uncapable of doing that. I can't come back. =(( i really can't even if i wanted to real bad. All i want is to meet u guys, hug u guys and apologise. And then i will leave. Atleast it puts me in peace. FADH REALLY MISSES ALL OF YOU. FADH IS SORRY.
All those moments keep coming back. Our laughter, our tears shed. All those really brings me back to where i use to stand. Who pick e up. Bring us up together. Fighting for what is ours, fighting for each other. Whatever it is my dearest, fadh will be here, supporting u guys always. Even if u guys are up there and im below here. Fadh still respect u guys.......... =((


........................
...........
......
Why do i even fall for u in the first place. Why do i even confesses that i love you. WHY WOULD I EVEN PLACE HIGH HOPES ON YOU WHEN I KNOW IT JUST TURNS OUT TO BE A DREAM? Fadh risk that because somehow fadh believes in you. Fadh believes in us. But that was just a dream...=(( woke up in the middle of no where.. no where..
Fadh dnt want money. Fadh taknak anything, fadh just want to be loved by you. Somehow these things are just plain nothing to you... but not to me....

Fadh had try my best.
Nothing is working.
You said u love me.
You said u care for me.
That phrases still lingers.=((
'i sayang u lah'.......
phrase that u said.

Whers all that?
U arent trying.
Fadh is really dissapointed in you.
Fadh thot u were different.............................
i wont say i love u if it isnt true now.
Fadh just plain stupid..........
PLAIN STUPID FOR HOPING..

I thought u can be my savior.
I thought u can protect me..............................
but...............................im so stupid to fantasizing.

Why do i let my dream this far.................

u kept saying sorrie when ure not.....

NOW I KNEW THAT BEING WITH YOU IS IMPOSSIBLE. NOT POSSIBLE.......

Fadh dream too much.
Too much that it brings me high than drop me off. crashing.
sigh.....
i failed in making u happy.
i failed in whtever u want me to.
im sorrie....................................................................................fadhLOVESyou.

A.Y.I.M.

i miss you and i love you.
im sorry that i make u sick and make u stressed up.
im really sorry.
i just wanted u.
ure so nice and u keep up with my attitude.
and i thank u for that.

im sorry that im being pain in the ass.
im sorry.... :'(
it just hurts me knowing ure not over ur ex.
maybe being with ur ex once again is the best thing to do..
im pulling myself away.
maybe thats will ease you.
BUT I DONT WANT TO!!!!
I DONT WANT TO!!!!

ure thinking too much.
i think u want ur ex back..
nevermind, go on with ur ex..
u will be happy, ur ex will be happy...........
:'(

i misjudge myself.
i misplace u around.
im sorryyyy...

im trying to be the best for you.
be what u want me to be.
make u love me.
but indeed i failed.
:'( :'(

its best that i leave u.
my appearance just make u more sick and all stressed up....
IM SORRY BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.......

you dont know how much it hurts and how much its killing me.
tears falling everytime thinking,
im sorry i make you feel unsecure and irritated...
but its the speech of my tiny little heart.................
....................
..............................
......
....................
.........................fadhLOVESyou.

I TOOK THE NIGHT. ;)

Omg!! i love this song. Very nice lyrics. here goes..



Oh boy
Who does she think she is?
Yeah who is she?
I don’t know what she’s doing?
I think its dancing.
She thinks she’s fly with that…
Uh what is that…a Gucci bag?
Oh boy I really don’t either.
What ever.

Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way
Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way

Every time I walk in the club
They hating on me cuz they know I look good
My hair done right and my dress real tite
All eyes on me I took the night.
Every time I walk in the club
They hating on me cuz they know I look good
My hair done right and my dress real tite
All eyes on me I took the night.
I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
All eyes on me I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
All eyes on me I took the night

Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way
Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way

Every time I walk in the club
They hating on me cuz they know I look good
My hair done right and my dress real tite
All eyes on me I took the night.
Every time I walk in the club
They hating on me cuz they know I look good
My hair done right and my dress real tite
All eyes on me I took the night.
I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
All eyes on me I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
All eyes on me I took the night

One two four three
None of these bitches look better than me
Better then me better than me
None of these bitches look better than me
One two four three
None of these bitches look better than me
Better then me better than me
None of these bitches look better than me
One two four three
None of these bitches look better than me
Better then me better than me
None of these bitches look better than me
One two four three
None of these bitches look better than me
Better then me better than me
None of these bitches look better than me

Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way
Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way
Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way
Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way

Every time I walk in the club
They hating on me cuz they know I look good
My hair done right and my dress real tite
All eyes on me I took the night.
Every time I walk in the club
They hating on me cuz they know I look good
My hair done right and my dress real tite
All eyes on me I took the night.
I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
All eyes on me I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
All eyes on me I took the night

One two four three
None of these bitches look better than me
Better then me better than me
None of these bitches look better than me
One two four three
None of these bitches look better than me
Better then me better than me
None of these bitches look better than me
One two four three
None of these bitches look better than me
Better then me better than me
None of these bitches look better than me

Every time I walk in the club
They hating on me cuz they know I look good
My hair done right and my dress real tite
All eyes on me I took the night.

against

to whoever it may concern:

shutting my mouth is wrong
saying out stuff is wrong
what do u guys expect me to do?
can say all u want okay?
i know what im doing.
whats the use of being nice when im not? ryte?
maybe the word freelance is wrong?? maybe..
but i am what?
no longer in any..
dance only when people want to..
isnt that that?
hmmmm.
da lah penat uhh.
da malas....
nak maafkan, maafkan lah, kalau taknak terpulang........

.........................

ni lah manusia.
tak boleh nampak orang senang kan?
jadi jahat salah, jadi baik salah.
macam maner kan?
bila nak jadi baik ader je nak comment.
so how now people?

just keep quiet?
and go on?
yes i should...
:)

LOVE u guys.
mwaaaahhhh!!

Splits

My body is aching like shit. It's been a long time since i perform? :) yesterday was the first time. Perform at Dunman high with fawly, ryna, dydy. hmm. they are so funny! can't stop laughing. vimal was there too. it was a last minute thing. they called me asking if im free on friday, and since i got nothing on friday i said yes. and was suppose to come to learn on thursday but then project still not done. so very stressful u see. i came on friday and learn 1 new choreo. haha. all the positioning on the day itself. it was a last minute thing though, but we had fun performing, break fasting, nasi goreng ikan bilis. :) anna and abang sani was there too.

vimal and his junior are really cute. good job guys. the crowd was crazy. :) thanks people.

im just a freelancer now.. not inside any.
anwy a big thanks to dydy, fawly and ryna for giving me opportunity to dance with u guys. :)
love u guys.