Back from my deep sleep....

Im so sorry people that i have not been blogging for like how many months.... urgh... haha... fadh busy sikit la dengan skolah.... fininhing school in like 3 months time... after that, GRADUATION DAY!!!!! after that ns..... kental per fadh ns..... =.=

anyway... fadh da penat la nak blog pasal bende 'gelap2', emotional.... only when i really need to okay? fadh promise.... anwys
to you... and only you..... please
leave us alone......
what more do u want?
u apologise to me saying all shitty things....
u ask me to do things which i know what i am doing and all.,...
u called him everyday......
what more do u want???
kalau nak sangat dier balik kan, go ahead...
yesss!!! GO AHEAD....
see if he wants u back....
if he wants u back i admit lose....
for now ure the LOser.........


and what?? u said 'i love u'
so sweet nyer........
if u loves him....
y do shitty things to him in the first place??
hmmmm?
my fault is it????
im sorry if im a better one than u.....
i dont want to fight with u or whatsoever k.....


keep on trying to win him back....
i wanna see this....
:)



*kisses*

TURNING COLD

Aku cuba untuk mendekati
Tapi engkau tiada peduli
Tulusnya niat di hati
Mungkin kau tersalah erti

Bukannya ingin merantai dirimu
Ataupun mengikat janji
Masih ada banyak lagi
Harus kau pelajari

Aku ingin kemesraan
Serta senyum keramahan
Biar kekal berterusan
Tak hilang di tengah jalan

Kau rahsiakan kedinginan menyelimuti hati
Aku juga kedinginan kerana sikapmu itu
Walaupun setebal mana selimut membaluti
Aku masih kedinginan sepi tanpa berteman

Kedinginanmu kerana malam
Yang masih lagi panjang

Kedinginanku jauh bandingan
Dengan dirimu

Usah biar malam tak berteman
Usah bair siang kekosongan
Sudilah kau memahami
Ketulusan hati ini

Andainya aku merajuk bawa hati
Dan kau pun membawa diri
Siapa harus disalahkan
Pasti kita berdua

**a song for u.
in the end, i have to leave for ur happiness.
everything is impossible between u and me.
:'(( sobbing

Why do i even fall for you.*sob*

I MISS 30T, i misses, hakim siti halim kane mirah yanie totot wawa isaac and all. I wanted to meet u guys but im uncapable of doing that. I can't come back. =(( i really can't even if i wanted to real bad. All i want is to meet u guys, hug u guys and apologise. And then i will leave. Atleast it puts me in peace. FADH REALLY MISSES ALL OF YOU. FADH IS SORRY.
All those moments keep coming back. Our laughter, our tears shed. All those really brings me back to where i use to stand. Who pick e up. Bring us up together. Fighting for what is ours, fighting for each other. Whatever it is my dearest, fadh will be here, supporting u guys always. Even if u guys are up there and im below here. Fadh still respect u guys.......... =((


........................
...........
......
Why do i even fall for u in the first place. Why do i even confesses that i love you. WHY WOULD I EVEN PLACE HIGH HOPES ON YOU WHEN I KNOW IT JUST TURNS OUT TO BE A DREAM? Fadh risk that because somehow fadh believes in you. Fadh believes in us. But that was just a dream...=(( woke up in the middle of no where.. no where..
Fadh dnt want money. Fadh taknak anything, fadh just want to be loved by you. Somehow these things are just plain nothing to you... but not to me....

Fadh had try my best.
Nothing is working.
You said u love me.
You said u care for me.
That phrases still lingers.=((
'i sayang u lah'.......
phrase that u said.

Whers all that?
U arent trying.
Fadh is really dissapointed in you.
Fadh thot u were different.............................
i wont say i love u if it isnt true now.
Fadh just plain stupid..........
PLAIN STUPID FOR HOPING..

I thought u can be my savior.
I thought u can protect me..............................
but...............................im so stupid to fantasizing.

Why do i let my dream this far.................

u kept saying sorrie when ure not.....

NOW I KNEW THAT BEING WITH YOU IS IMPOSSIBLE. NOT POSSIBLE.......

Fadh dream too much.
Too much that it brings me high than drop me off. crashing.
sigh.....
i failed in making u happy.
i failed in whtever u want me to.
im sorrie....................................................................................fadhLOVESyou.

A.Y.I.M.

i miss you and i love you.
im sorry that i make u sick and make u stressed up.
im really sorry.
i just wanted u.
ure so nice and u keep up with my attitude.
and i thank u for that.

im sorry that im being pain in the ass.
im sorry.... :'(
it just hurts me knowing ure not over ur ex.
maybe being with ur ex once again is the best thing to do..
im pulling myself away.
maybe thats will ease you.
BUT I DONT WANT TO!!!!
I DONT WANT TO!!!!

ure thinking too much.
i think u want ur ex back..
nevermind, go on with ur ex..
u will be happy, ur ex will be happy...........
:'(

i misjudge myself.
i misplace u around.
im sorryyyy...

im trying to be the best for you.
be what u want me to be.
make u love me.
but indeed i failed.
:'( :'(

its best that i leave u.
my appearance just make u more sick and all stressed up....
IM SORRY BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.......

you dont know how much it hurts and how much its killing me.
tears falling everytime thinking,
im sorry i make you feel unsecure and irritated...
but its the speech of my tiny little heart.................
....................
..............................
......
....................
.........................fadhLOVESyou.

I TOOK THE NIGHT. ;)

Omg!! i love this song. Very nice lyrics. here goes..



Oh boy
Who does she think she is?
Yeah who is she?
I don’t know what she’s doing?
I think its dancing.
She thinks she’s fly with that…
Uh what is that…a Gucci bag?
Oh boy I really don’t either.
What ever.

Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way
Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way

Every time I walk in the club
They hating on me cuz they know I look good
My hair done right and my dress real tite
All eyes on me I took the night.
Every time I walk in the club
They hating on me cuz they know I look good
My hair done right and my dress real tite
All eyes on me I took the night.
I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
All eyes on me I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
All eyes on me I took the night

Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way
Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way

Every time I walk in the club
They hating on me cuz they know I look good
My hair done right and my dress real tite
All eyes on me I took the night.
Every time I walk in the club
They hating on me cuz they know I look good
My hair done right and my dress real tite
All eyes on me I took the night.
I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
All eyes on me I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
All eyes on me I took the night

One two four three
None of these bitches look better than me
Better then me better than me
None of these bitches look better than me
One two four three
None of these bitches look better than me
Better then me better than me
None of these bitches look better than me
One two four three
None of these bitches look better than me
Better then me better than me
None of these bitches look better than me
One two four three
None of these bitches look better than me
Better then me better than me
None of these bitches look better than me

Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way
Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way
Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way
Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way

Every time I walk in the club
They hating on me cuz they know I look good
My hair done right and my dress real tite
All eyes on me I took the night.
Every time I walk in the club
They hating on me cuz they know I look good
My hair done right and my dress real tite
All eyes on me I took the night.
I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
All eyes on me I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
I took the night
All eyes on me I took the night

One two four three
None of these bitches look better than me
Better then me better than me
None of these bitches look better than me
One two four three
None of these bitches look better than me
Better then me better than me
None of these bitches look better than me
One two four three
None of these bitches look better than me
Better then me better than me
None of these bitches look better than me

Every time I walk in the club
They hating on me cuz they know I look good
My hair done right and my dress real tite
All eyes on me I took the night.

against

to whoever it may concern:

shutting my mouth is wrong
saying out stuff is wrong
what do u guys expect me to do?
can say all u want okay?
i know what im doing.
whats the use of being nice when im not? ryte?
maybe the word freelance is wrong?? maybe..
but i am what?
no longer in any..
dance only when people want to..
isnt that that?
hmmmm.
da lah penat uhh.
da malas....
nak maafkan, maafkan lah, kalau taknak terpulang........

.........................

ni lah manusia.
tak boleh nampak orang senang kan?
jadi jahat salah, jadi baik salah.
macam maner kan?
bila nak jadi baik ader je nak comment.
so how now people?

just keep quiet?
and go on?
yes i should...
:)

LOVE u guys.
mwaaaahhhh!!

Splits

My body is aching like shit. It's been a long time since i perform? :) yesterday was the first time. Perform at Dunman high with fawly, ryna, dydy. hmm. they are so funny! can't stop laughing. vimal was there too. it was a last minute thing. they called me asking if im free on friday, and since i got nothing on friday i said yes. and was suppose to come to learn on thursday but then project still not done. so very stressful u see. i came on friday and learn 1 new choreo. haha. all the positioning on the day itself. it was a last minute thing though, but we had fun performing, break fasting, nasi goreng ikan bilis. :) anna and abang sani was there too.

vimal and his junior are really cute. good job guys. the crowd was crazy. :) thanks people.

im just a freelancer now.. not inside any.
anwy a big thanks to dydy, fawly and ryna for giving me opportunity to dance with u guys. :)
love u guys.

DEAD by NIGHT

woke up at 7.30 and leave home at 8.30. Reaches school at around 9.30. Class starts at 8. So yeah. Its normal for fadh to be late. :) ANWYS, TODAY IM STAYING IN SCHOOL. HOW BOUT THAT??!! URGH!! stay till at around 9 i guess?? Finishing my group project. Last2 aku ngn lina dengan fadz yang kene buat CREDITS when u are needed to do it. The credits that u do didnt even match my standard. And and, U SLEEP!! WHILE WE WERE DOING OUR WORK. ERGH!! GETTING ON MY NERVES AH U!!!

today also buka at school. sigh.
having an asthma attack. not that bad but i cant breathe. nvmind then.
tsk.
need to go out and buy food somemore. lazy sey.
issshhh.. now im tired and want to sleep.
but i cant.
i need to assist my group in the project........
:)
update again later ya?
MUCH LOVES.
fadh
KISS

HOLY

Today is the third day of the holy month, which is the Ramadhan. What a great month. :) The month where we all fast, fighting the hunger and thirst. Feeling how the unfortunates feel eating only once a day and stuff. I may be fasting but im not that 'clean' yet. Still long way to go. This is the month where u can earn the most pahala. :) so people who fast, good job, keep going and for those who aint fasting, try. If not then that's your problem. :)

Im happy that u forgive me and texted me. I was shocked at the same time happy. U make the effort to ransacked ur places to find that damn small thing just to text. Aww. I really appreciate what u did. It really saddens me while typing the msg to u.
And to see that u still care and still text me to wish me all the best. I knew it that i was never good to be with. SIGH. Walking pass ur place makes me remember stuff that bring tears. All the laughing, all the crying... :'( at this point of time, i feel calm.

And again in this Holy month, i would like to apologise to everyone in this world that i have hurt or make u cry. Its my fault. Im not being loyal when u guys are being loyal to me. Fadh minta maaf pader semue. I just hope you people can forgive me. Those who cant forgive me then its okay.. Fadh dont lose anything when u nt forgive. infact u gain sins because this is the month or asking for forgiveness and to forgive...

Slamat menyambut bulan puase kawan2.
MWAAAAAAHHHH.
Fadh loves all of you.

OM MY GOD!

don't call me a dancer. im no longer dancing. kicked out. cant say anything. cant speak anything. just respect people decision. its not that im not fighting for my passion but im weak now. freedom of speech isnt by my side anymore.... sigh.
haiyo... i got my own reason.
what for i spend time with the people that hating me..
whoever want to ditch me as their friends or whatever..
please do..
ure not my everything though........


..................


gonna spend time with my bf today, kaiflux. and my girls, diyanah lina and our cute little boy nizam.
maybe ahyew is coming wth her girls.
yay!! there lighted up my life once again..
i miss ahyew so much. alot okay!!!!
maybe meeting her later..

.................

leading a single life is fun though. its really fun to a certain extend.
i miss the time when i was scolded, pampered and stuff.
sigh.
that day will come 1 day.
i wanted to change to straight.
but im scared. i takot i cant jager that girl.
what if in the middle of relationship my heart change? how?
someone please help me..........

.................

i wanna do photography with bestie kai and the rest.
omg!! photography. nak suruh kai ajar........
hee!!
saving up money to buy dslr camera i think??
HAHAHAH!!!
:)
OKAY THATS ALL FOR TODAY.
WANNA GO HOME GET READY AND STUFF.
MUCH LOVE.
MWAAAHHHHH!!!

practice make perfect.

had practice. long time since i had practice. abit stiff but wth more practice will be like nrmal again. abit tired. body aching...
life is abit better. by only 3 percent.. urgh.. not much kan??
my life use to be a beautiful park, with a beautiful pond..
now it just left a piece of land, and the pond had dried up. it rains alot but it never fill the pond anymore.how i wish he misses me too.. but i doubt so. he got nice people around him who loves him alot. who care for him..


ive been defeated....
loser i am.............................

.......................
......
...........
..................
..
.......................

:'(
killing me softly with his song..
killing me softly with his song..
his song..
strumming my whole life
with his fingers....
im still missing u right here.

EXHAUST!!

tiring day i have. haizz. irah came my house at 8 plus,waking me up when i am not suppose to be awake. hmmphh!! thanks irah. -.- then wait for lina and faizal. lina nyer pandai luper bwk props. da kene go back home. then she text me, 'fadh! aku luper bwk kunci rumah'.
again -.- sengal ubi si lina ni. then get ready and stuff and then start shooting again. after that ate at home, then chill2. they waited for me to get ready then we went town. hehe.

met kai and diyanah too. awww. bestfriend reunion.
best sey.
long time since we went out together. :)
i really miss them......

my leg hurts alot. :'(
anwy it was fun.
worth hurting my leg.

ouhya!! me and irah went to manicure.
urgh!! the person membebel sayong y i bite my nail. tapi skarang da better.
i need to stop biting my nails.
nanti da tak lawa sey


.........................

i am missing the one i hurt the most.
haizz..
too bad for me. deserve it.. :'(
just wanna tell u fadh really misses u so much.
:'(((((
sigh*crying*

..................................

i suck i know.
how shitty i am, i do respect people now.
i have learn to respect.
appreciating people.
if basically u dnt have respect for me, then its okay. u still gain my respect..
cause i dont lose anything from respecting..

enough said..

i know im trying to change.
if people cant accept me for my change,
then just ignore me.

i wanna change way of me in a relationship,
am trying to..
way i look, physically..
way i appreciate people, emotionally..

basically i wanna change everything..
i swear im gonna change, insya allah.....

.....................................

ya allah tuhan ku, fadh mintak maaf.
tolong lembotkan hati2 orang yang fadh pernah luka..
lembutkan hati mereka supaya mereka dapat memaafkan fadh.... :'(
amin................

UN-control

Every day im awaken by my own ringtone. felt lazy to rise up to the morn. stretches and wriggle around bed.. feel like forever to reach to school. but why did i choose to go school when i can NOT go school? ....
it's my pillar of strength..
my best friends.. lina, iera, kaiflux, nizam and fadzli..
they always make my day in school.
make me laugh.
listen to me when i needed them.
make me feel strong and fight for my rights.
very protective.
i just love them so much.
i just needed them.

but however..
that doesnt complete me..
its like 40 percent of me is not complete..
.....
LOVE..
maybe some say its not important..
but to me it is..
friend can be ur someone who loves u..
but someone who is ur lover loves u more than ur friends love u..
but i never ever abandon both..

i just want someone who is loving..
care for me..
scold me when i do stupid things.
comfort me when im in despair.
nevermind the money.
someone who accept me for who iam.

a few times i confesses that i like someone.
it turns out well as a friend.
but as time pass by, it fades away.
u fade away.
leaving me crying uncontrollably.
u just pop all over.
mostly at night when it was time im lazing around and dreaming. that makes me teared.

im not trying to gain sympathy.
i just wanted people who at least appreciate what i tell em.
example. when i say im starting to love u back, or even, i just want u back....

at least show that u care..
it saddens me when u ignored when im trying so hard to try..
it leaves me crying..
yes im emotional..
so??sigh.

sometimes i just feel shitty being in a relationship.
some leave me suffers for a long period.
some leave me in a state where im stuck in the middle.
some leave me confuse to either trust or not.

im not shitty.
im not a ditching machine.
im not an asshole.

some may say eh! been that done that.
but are u sure u have been that done that.
its different in every relationship.
its NEVER the same. what u guys have been through is not the same as what i have been through..
IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME..

in life, we are meant to be given chance..
be it once?
twice?
trice?
etc?
in the end its boundaries..
its the way we are being test..
even if it hurts u once or twice and etc.
even if it hurts me once or twice..

im just tired form crying really..
im really getting bored..
i wanna settle down with anyone that came in and win my heart.
seriously...................................................................................................................................................................................................

sigh*crying*

The day.

Another refreshing day. hmm. Today is the first day i go to school after a few weeks of shooting. shooting was fun. it was splendid. and i hope they had fun too working with me. :) finally our shooting is done. just need to cut the unwanted parts and do abit of editing. yerp. reaches school at 10 when i was suppose to reach at 8. pfft!! fall asleep in the train. almost over-shot. but nevermind. miss my friend in school. gonna eat luch with them. :)))))

my right eyes is swollen. due to too much of crying and dnt know y. it hurts my eyes alot. i cant rubbed when its itchy. have a hard time waking up. cos the swollen grow an inch bigger everynight i guess? urgh. its itchy like shit...

anyway to ace. thank you so much for comforting me.. thank you so much.. :)) thank you being a listening ear..
well for ur case.. dnt give up on her..
she's might be feeling very sad.. extreme sadness..
but c'mon..
if u can comfort me.. y cant u kan?
dnt say ur helpless.
ure not helpless.. its just that u dont know what to do..
its okay..
i know deep inside ure a strong-willed-guy..
dnt worry.. like u said, 'im a text away' ;))
fadh is always here....

to kaiflux again.
PLEASE LAH GET WELL SOON!!
MENDAK LAH SAK PAT SKOLAH NI!!
TAKDE KAKI MEPEK!!
nizam ngan aku je..
incomplete seh rasenye..
this week aku nak ajak kau kelua ni.. da lamer tak g tengok wayang ngan kau..
we eat dinner.. then dudok pat spinelli minom kopi.. before that lets buy stuff for us okay? hehe.... da lah last week tak jadi..
i hope this weekend u and nizam can make it..
A DAY SPEND WITH BESTIES.

luckily i still got my school friends to cling on. thank you guys...

im already tired saying these words.. again.. im sorry again..
i even make a public apology here..
its up to u guys to accept it or not..
this is just plain humiliation..

WE DO IT ONCE, WE DO IT GOOD~Mr ramamzo ninsawi

might as well disperse.

i dont know whats happening. im rotting. im dying slowly. im falling. i see safety net but actually its just an illusion. mind playing games. now i hit the floor hard. its just the end. for muhammad fadhli...

i just wanna cry till my eyes bleed. i dont wanna know whats there for me outside there. i just want the olden days back. the people who i use to love. the people who use to make me laugh. the people who cry with...

dream on FUCK!!
around of applause to muhammad fadhli for failing in life...
what wan told me is true. its the past sak...
true enough...
...
he likes this someone who is close to me...
he wanted him...
he is sincere in giving him a second chances...
both are nice guys...
very sweet...
just get along will both of u...
it will definitely makes me happy a little...
how could u guys let boundaries block u guys...
c'monla...

nevermind my problems and nevermind my sorrowness...
u guys need to be happy wth each other...
pleaseeeeeee... :'(


it is hard for me but am trying to let it go...


im sorry to the people that i hurt the most, siti and isaac...
im sorry that i did those things...
im sorry...
its not that i meant to hurt u guys...
but........
basically i just suck in both relationships...
all those sarcasticness and shitness that i do...
it all come back...
and it feel sucky...

i know u guys cant be bothered and couldnt care less... this is an apology from muhammad fadhli.

its hard to be forgiven...

i put that in ur hand to judge...

basically people, im not the kind that is worth u falling for...
not the kind that is worth u love...
not the kind that is worth u care for...
not worth at all...
im just like a piece of rubbisg scattered on the floor...
............................
.......
............
..................
....
.............
.........

im just worthless to earn for..

Saddens me.

i miss you i want u.. but u ignore me..it seems that u dont care even if im there.. im like invisible. im sorry that i that the last time.. was an asshole back then.. im trying to make it up but then.. haizz.. im sorry but i think am serious now.. i know u cant be bothered with me..

:'( truly said i miss you so much..
since the day we met again.. and again..
what if it doesnt work?
u said it..
...................
i just cant express myself..
my inner thing..
u dont like it when im being emo'ish and stuff..

u finally say it that u misses me..
im touch..

i keep watching the video that i recorded..
it bring smile to my face..
watch it everyday..
ure just different in person and in msges..
u seems caring and sweet in person..

i just want u to know what i feel towards you..
i know ure afraid to go on relationship again..
am not forcing u..
maybe u have someone else..
please tell me.. so that i wont bother u..

..............
.....................
.....
.............

FADH MISSES YOU :'(

MISSES.

I misses kaiflux alot. he fall sick. he seems very sick today when i was video-calling with him. he sounded dead. not the normal crapping kai. haizz. get well soon please deary bestie. miss us going out watching movies, having dinner at ur favourite fast food reataurant, BURGER KING..... i will pray that u get well soon kay? :D

I MISS AZURA TOO!!
will be out with her tomorrow!! yay!! after so long we last met. miss ur laugh and all. haha. lets eat at fareast nyer nasi ayam penyet!! sweating like shit. remember? OMG!!! CAN'T WAIT!!!

and again tmrw gonna meet lina and diyanah in the morn.. YAY!! TMRW IS BESTIE DAY OUT!! diyanah lina and azura should meet up. confirm i will get stomach ulser. haha. funny bunch of people...

missing alot of people. i cant mention their names. haiizzz..

anwy looking forward for tmrws day.......

Part of the List

i have been sick for quite sometime. It has been a week since im sick and i am still sick. Runny nose, slight fever, headache, vomitting and coughing.. so much for that. plus i need to redo write my group storyline plus script. our story were rejected. fuck!! i just hate being in this situation...

out of the blue, people is blaming me for things that happen. i know u love and care for him more than u love and care for me. true enough. but u only listen to 1 party. have u even have the idea what im going through? have u even have the idea of how im feeling and why do i react that way? i dont think so. im not disrespecting u okay, but com'on laa.

if god were to put me and him inside a lake full of crocodile, i bet u gonna save him. so yah. i dnt bother to quarel. after all ure my sister so........
i just might as well keep my mouth shut and just smile.

now i got no one okay except for my bestie. but they are busy with their life and relationships. i cant expect them to be there for me 24 7 right? now it all comes to a conclusion, that i will be blame in future for shit happens.
thank you so much....

I HATE YOU!!!

i just hate you now. Both of you. Why arent you guys tell me the truth? I HATE BOTH OF YOU!!! I HATE YOUUUUUUU BOTHHH!!!!! how could u guys do this to me? I do did bad stuff contacting others and stuff, but i didnt do stuffs!!!!!!!! OMG!!! how sweet kan korang? i just feel like slapping both your face sak... FUCK LA SAK!!! and you!! U KNOW HOW I AND HIM!!!! common sense la siak!!!!! g layan kan buat aper???

AND YOU!!!!! I SAID STOP DRINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IM SO DISAAPOINTED IN YOU. NEXT TIME IF U WANNA GO CLUB KAN? JUST GO K. DNT BOTHER TELLING ME!!!!

THANKS BOTH OF U.
THANKS FOR HURTING ME!!!
I APPRECIATE THAT A LOT!!!!!

TAKE A BOW.

im taking a bow from my school work. there's so much things to do. storyboarding, assignments and shooting and recording and bla bla bla. im not a robot. im a human. ive been having body aches these few days. barely have the energy from home to school and back. haiyo.. papa, i need a new laptop please.. :'( im struggling using that damn stupid notebook. :'( pleaseeeeeeeee......

im missing so much people now..
analeigh :'( i shed a tears when she texted me just now morning.
tamara :'(
isaac :'(
everyone... :'(

i have not watch movies for the past 3 4 months. :'(
i wanna watch transformer..
but it seems that everyone is busy..
haizzz..
really feel like crying now..
i got no time for myself..
if only there's someone who would take me out and just hang around..
making smile a little will do..

if no one would like to go out wth me then i will go out on my own. watch movie on my own, eat my dinner alone and just chill alone.. that will at least satisfy me just a tiny biny bit.

lately, i feel lonely. even though there's internet connection at home.
cigarette, television and food at home. its very different. i dont know why..... :'(

friday, there's a full dress reheasal at suntec city.
then saturday and sunday is the day. performance day. infront of minister and president. how about that?. my knee hurts. just a lil bit. i hit my knee on the floor while doing splits. whatever kan.......

im the paitao KING? whatever okay SAB. anwy , so what if u are piss of me. its my dad who rule my life and not u. so i listen to him. and not U!! want to blog bout me? then go ahead okay? cos i dnt even care. :)

tahts all for today afternoon. im tired.. very tired..

Tanpa

Resah yang ku
Ubah dalam kata
Melukiskan kesunyian
Tanpa engkau aku tak mengerti

Meski
Pagi itu menatapi
Akan sunyi tanpamu
Menemani aku sepi

Tanpa..
Cintamu aku resah
Tanpa..
Kasihmu aku hampa
Tanpa..
Dirimu aku mati
hohoo…

Kini benar-benarku rasakan
Dalam benuk hatiku tanpamu
Ku tak mengerti
Takut
Takut jauh dari dirimu
Kan kau tinggalkan aku sendiri
Tanpamu ku mati
Hohoo…

Resah yang ku
Ubah dalam kata
Melukiskan kesunyian
Tanpa engkau aku tak mengerti...

this is how i feel now. :'(
im sorry my ego too much..
im sorry attitude sucks..
im sorry everything bout me..
:'(

EFFORTLESSLY EFFORTLESS

haiiizzzz.. y cant i live a normal life i do in the past? y must these things happen now..
i not use to this.. im not strong enough to contain this. true what he said, 'u keep telling others how to solve problem but u dont reflect it on myself'.. looks who is talking, me!! i only know how to give solution, but myself. hah, nothing can i do myself.. fucked up.. can i please like overdose myself.. im so needing isaac and unique desires now.. i want a hug.. tight hug!! im effortless now. im handicapped!! emotionally!! please give me the strength to go through these, god please.. i missed him so badly, i wanna cry.. i miss my bestie khai.. :'( i miss isaac.. :'( i miss unique desire.. :'(................................

:'(

speech-less

thanks khai for spending the time with me just now. really had fun since the last time we went out together. thanks for helping me with my project. and dnt worry, i'll help u back k?

i want to dance again...
i want to dance again...
pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
i wanted to...

i need to go for an interview at sentosa this thursday at 3 pm. someone please accompany me please... im scared... i takot i tak dapat kerje... i really want the job... i dont care if the people whatever... i just need a job... to support myself... money to spend on myself, my cigarette... i didnt manage to pamper myself... once in a while its okay... my body need new shirts... wanna buy clothes at tampines mall...
....... urgh!!!! mcm da tue ader banyak problem...
haizzzzzzzzzz...

fadh is DEAD

dancing is what i want to do the most. but now i cant. i cant!!! :'(
i like what i do. and i dnt like how u phrase ur words.. it hurts me emotional.. u look down on what i can do.. u look down on what i achieve.. im not u u know. i lead my life, ure just supporting me financially.. im sorry but i have to say this.. y cant u guys leave me alone and let me do what i like to do, DANCING!! i dont take drugs, i dnt have tattoos. i dnt beat people up. i just dance.. HARMLESS!! WHAT ELSE U WANT ME TO DO?? Im doing well in schooling!! infact dancing didnt even affect my studies.. my teacher and friends support what im doing.. why cant u guys??!!! :'(
I FELT DEMORALISED!! D E M O R A L I S E D. U GUYS GET IT??!!sometimes i just feel that ure biased toward all of ur children.. whatever i do is a sin.. im trying to be better than the last time iam.. and now no more problem right?? u let him do what he likes, but me?? i sometime wish that im not ur son......................................... :'(



fake!! i may be laughing and crapping, but inside, its rotting fast..
im sorry Unique Desire..
fadh cant perform with u guys anymore..
im going to miss u guys alot.. those laughter we had.. remember?
it brings me to the hard time we had and the fun time we had together.. we're so close like siblings.. now it ends here for me.. it ends as it was about to get happier..
i love u guys alot.. and it may takes time till i meet u guys again..
thanks for all those momment we had..
its so precious.. afez,alyv,siti,hakim,halim,kane,tamara,faizah,
fadh mintak maaf kalu fadh ader termarah atau pun termaki.. im sorry.. fadh mintak maaf sebab fadh tak boleh joget ngn korang.. fadh nak sangat joget ngn krng but then ......................... i just love u guys............. :'( :'(




i love you dear.. :'(

PAIN!!

fck!!!! problems here and there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! damn it!!!!!!!!! i was just wanted to help, but ........... fine then!!!! anybody got a problem, dnt have to share!!!!!!!! cos im always adding to people problem!!!!! PFFFFFFTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!

POISON.

please someone.... just poison me.... letme die. so that i won't burden my family.... i know im the oldest.... i keep asking them for money.... but im under their responsibility....
NOW.... i feel useless, i felt a huge burden to them....

they once said, do what u like to do....
im doing what i like....
DANCING....
art and designing is already my natural-born talent....
i wanna dance....
YES!!! dance doesnt earn me anything for now....
but its the feeling that counts....
i feel good performing.... makes people happy....
see what i can do....
i learn alot....
and now it comes to an end....
what i have been learning....


papa isnt fair....
adik like soccer so much.... papa loves soccer too....
that doesnt earn him anything too....
so?
y did he buy him all the jerseys, the boots that cost amost a hundreds?
papa only let anyone to do things that he likes....

im not u please laaaaa....
im myself....
yes im ur responsibilty....
but must my life be given to u to lead?
NO!!!!
yes i do sometimes fight back when quarel
but im stating the fact....

so what if i didnt earn anything...................

now i need a job!!
a part-time....
im schooling and i need part-time....
life as an older brother really stink...................
im just sick and tired of myself....

IM SO GOING TO MISS 30T, TMC AND ESPECIALLY UNIQUE DESIRES WHO HAVE BEEN WTH ME EVEN FOR A WEEK.... ITS NOT HOW LONG WE MET, ITS THE BONDING WE'VE MADE.... I LOVE YOU GUYS INDIVIDUALLY SINCERELY....
THE LAUGHTER, THE JOKES THAT WE MADE AND OUR CRAPNESS....
THINKING OF THESE MAKE ME CRY GUYS.... IT REALLY DOES....
I JUST HOPE I CAN PERFORM WITH U GUYS AGAIN AND AGAIN.... BUT .....
:'(

................................
.......................................
.........
......................
..........................
..............................
..........

MEOW!!!

I LOVE UNIQUE DESIRE PEOPLE. LIKE A LOT OKAY!! FUN BUNCH OF PEOPLE.. NEVER FAILD TO MAKE ME LAUGH!!! HAHA!! PRAC WAS FUN JUST NOW. NOW SEE WHAT AFEZ, MY TWINNY CAN DO.... WANNA SEE?



NOW SEE!!!







NOW!! HOW BOUT THAT??!! IM SO PROUD OF MY SISTER HERE!! HAHA!! AND FAIZAHH CAN DO IT TOO!! OMG!!! ALYV CAN DO SPLIT ALREADY!!! SO PROUD OF MY SECOND SISTER!! HAHA!!!!!!!

I HATE CATS WHO COPY ME!!
*HISSSSSSS*

FADHLI'S DOMINATION. (pfffftttt!!!!)

Ouhhh. just come back from Italy yeah. With my beloved Unique Desire crew!! (YELATU KAU!!) Went for reheasal at outram area. damn!! the flooring sucks sia. we dance and our shoe suddenly become super frictional. shit kan? had lots of fun wth hakim, ella, siti and my 2 twinny, alyv and hafiz. ahaaahh!!

i punyer minyak wangi peach da nak habes sia!!!!!!! thanks to people who called it MINYAK ANGIN!!!! hahhahah.. u guys knw who are u guys. mwaaahhhh.. love u guys...

and FINALLY!!! HOW ABOUT A ROUND OF APPLAUSE TO SITI RAHMAH FOR BEING ATTACHD FOR LIKE THE HW MANY TIMES. HAHAHAHHA!! GOOD LUCK!!! STAY LONGER TAU!!!! DOA ABANG TERKABUL TAU... HAHAHA. BRING UR GUY CME MEET US LAAAAAAAAAAA!!! HAHAHAHHA

anyway.. going to have our show at united square at Novena. (where is united square sia??!!!) im a bit dumb. bear wth it. me, hakim, kane, hafiz, alyv, ella and faizahh is performing. OMG!! I CANT WAIT FUCK!!! hahah..

i miss my bantal busuk. the whole day i didnt pelok my bantal. y? MAMA GO AND CUCI SIA!!! now it smell so nice. peje mama tu tau. i love her anyway.

im in love wth this song, KEMBALI PULANG BY KANGEN BAND.
HAIYA.. so sweet the song.. dedicated to someone..*buncit*ahhhahhh..

i should be going to BATU BELAH BATU BERTANGKUP!!!!! I kempunan sushi!!!! :'( i wanna cry. i knw its kental. but who understand my craving???????? :'(...................................

life is better now. no more crying, no more misunderstanding. u knw i knw. u knw what is best and im glad ure back again....
i cant ignore u.. the more i try, the more it bring me to u....
whatever happens, never leave. u knw that we are fated......
no use of u or me leaving, cos we knw we end up CLOSER............ love dear.....

ITS BACK!!!!

TMC IS BACK!! WE WENT TO UNITED KINGDOM ACTUALLY FOR A CRUISE YEAH?!! NOW WE ARE BACK!! THE MAIN 5 DANCERS OF 30T!! WE MAKE YOU PROUD OKAY? INSYA ALLAH!!




Forgiving is a nice thing to receive when u are forgiven in whatever u do. even if ure mistake is a big one.......

Poker - Face.

LADY GAGA!!! OMG!!! I LOVE HER!!!
HER IMAGE, HER PERSONALITY, HER CHARISMA...
SHE'S THE LADY GAGA...
AND THE ONLY GAGA...
LOVE IT...
HAHA!!


Im sick.. i cant dance well.. omg!! go away sickness..
i want to dance..
i have to pay 38 for the fucking inhalers.
Lots of phglem inside.
HARD TO BREATHE.
I NEED OXYGEN...
OMG!!
I CAN LIKE BUY A LOT OF FOOD SEY!!!
SHITTTTT!!!


I LOVE UNIQUE DESIRES...
Different people from different group combine to 1..
cool kan?
its gonna be a blast!!
Come and watch us on 24 june at United Square.


When can i have my sushi...
:'(
BATU BELAH BATU BERTANGKUP, MAKAN LAH AKU,
TELANLAH AKU,
AKU KEMPUNAN SUSHI..
:'(
I think i should just forget it lahh...
buang maser je berangan.
sudahlah..................................................................................................................................................................



im sleepy.. i wanna drink can please..
i wanna get drunk..
forget about everything..
can please??
i wanna enjoy myself..


im shortage of bangles
:'(
my bangly!!
fadlie give it back to me..
they miss me, i can hear them crying for me..
give it back please????



po po po pokerface, po po pokerface..................................................

A change man Now

i think that u are a change man now. Im confident bout that, i know u want me back. But i cant.. theres always a reason for my say. U know that right? I really hope u have change now. Its good for you little boy. Learn to love someone, treasure him, treasure him like how u treasure you love ones. U will be loved, i bet you. Stop flirting. Cos the eye-candy outside can be deceiving.. Trust me.. da kene skali serik kan? hmm?

and grudges are a no more.. no oh okay. :D

I just pray hard that you will find someone like me? HAHA. who have a buttercup hair? HAHA.
relax dear boy. u got your friends, family...

smile ya?.........



.........................................................

to someone ya?
ilysm

I CRY..

You need to let things go..
I know, u tell me so..
I've been through hell..
To break the spell..

Why did i ever let you slip away..
Can't stand another day wothout you..
Without the feelings..
I once knew..

I cry silently..
I cry inside of me..
I cry hopelessly..
'cause i know i'l never breathe your love again..

I cry 'cause you're not here me..
'cause im lonely as i can be..
I cry hopelessly..
'cause i know i'l never breathe your love again..

If i could have you back tomorrow..
If i could lose the pain and sorrow..
I would just do anything..
To make you see, still love me..

IM SO SO TIRED.... misses

Ive been so tired lately. why? i dont know myself. im so restless. so tired, always hungry. eat alot okay. but luckily i have a high body metabolism. couldnt get fat. still lean and slim. hahah. life is okay fun. now getting ready for next performance at United Square(where the hell is it located?!!) as a guest performer in 3 weeks time. will be performing with afez vogue, alyv vogue and fadlie vogue. 4 people only. haizzz. hope they can co-operate........


Im so wanting to eat sushi tau. :'( have been wanting it. SSSSSSSSOOOOOOOO MMMMUUUUCCCCCHHH!!!! Sushi is my sex. i got no time lahh to go buy.... haiiizzzzzzz... i dont care!!! i wanna go buy this saturday!!!!! if iam not able to find it, i wont be talking to anyone!!!....... hmmmppphhhh!!!!
I WANNA KILL MR DANNY!!!!
he make me jealous... cos yesterday, he ate sushi!!!!!!
MR DANNY, BE CAREFUL!!!
im watching you...... hehe... ;)

Iam missing so much people right now. especially my mom and you. awwwwww.. sweet kan?
i really do okay mak.....


i wanna buy new shoe, new clothes, eat at sakae sushi or wherever laaaa.. as i got a lot of money inside my pocket... 800 will be coming in 2 months time. -.- im working.... no one should know bout it.......... its a bad job...................:'(




NO LAH!!! its my bursary lahh... hahah. crazy people......




I MISS HANGING OUT AT STARBUCK JURONG POINT LAST TIME!!!
I MISS HANGING OUT WITH KHAIFLUX!!!
ME AND KAIFLUX ARE GOODFRIENDS, WE DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER, BUY STUFF TOGETHER....
EVEN CALLED US GAY COUPLE IN CLASS.
SO WHAT??
KAI!!!!!!!! LETS GO SHOPPING AND LEPAS PENAT, GO SPINELLI HEEREN AND LEPAK!!! LINA AND DIYANAH PLEASSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEE JOIN US!!!! GONNA BE FUN KAN!!! OMG!!!!!! CANT WAIT!!!!!


WANNA BUY A LOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT OF SINGLET AT TOPSHOP!!!
...................random lah.........................


Klah... i wanna go eat now.haha. mwaahhhh!!! take care. I MISS YOU!!
MWWWAAAAHHH!!!!

it saddens me but its okay :D

it saddens me knowing i cant perform for this saturday competition... haizz... but its okay... look on the bright side... kane is going to perform... it potrays me... i craft him to be better... i hope you wont dissapoint me okay dear?... but its fun dancing for a while... its okay really... hehe...

somebody... please date me out and bring me to eat sushi... please... i have been craving sushi for a long time... :'( please...
:'( :'(.................

im sleepy!!!

MURDER MURDER!!

i feel like murdering evryone!!!!!! is it so hard to ask u guys to have a full squad? FUCK!!!!!!!! IM FEEL LIKE SLAPPING YOU GUYS HARD ON THE FACE..... TAK SEDAR KE APER? so unappreciative bunch of fuckers!!!! IM REALLY PISSED. CANT U GUYS AT LEAST APPRECIATE A LITTLE? JUST A LITTLE!! AM NOT TALKING TO ANYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! URGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IM SO LOSING HOPE AND GIVE UP..

Everything that i do is a sin, everything that i say is wrong. what am i suppose to do?!! just sealed my mouth? and dnt say anything when it comes to defending. i think i should do that. making myself look stupid and SUPER DUMB!!! how bout that? i think i should do that. answer only when question. and all the time, dnt speak a word......

people can scold me but i cant scold others. what the fuck. its is fair for u people right? then be my guest and scold me all u want. i will then shut my mouth all the way. satisfy ur everything...!!!!!!

evrything that i do is a problem for everyone..... might as well i just dissapear rite? but if i dissapear. u guys got no one to scold rite???!!!!!

URGH!!!!!! GETTING ON MY NERVE!!!!!!!
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

got no mood to talk to anyone.....!!!!!
really, dnt talk to me.
hate it!!!!!

KANE RAYNARD GOH RONG WEI.

kane, im so proud of you. in everything u do. u do listen to me and do what i told u to do. u always make me proud and make me smile. u dnt have to be sorry.... thers always good behind things happening. abang always marah because i want u to be the best. even better than me in fact. u are the elite dancer. and that title wont be taken away and i wont let them happen. u are still in and is 1 of the best. its just matter of time before u'l be back. we'l wait for you.

no matter what. i make u proud. i make u cry seeing us. cry not of dissapointed but tears of joyment, happiness. i will assure u that. me being that co-leader, will make the group as u want them to be.

dnt blame urself for things that happen. ur parents are ur main priority. and thats it. make them proud with ur studies and always remeber we are behind u always. make ur parents trust u first once again. u lose us, no big deal, u lose them, u suffers.

u understand what abang is trying to say. stay strong. and I MAKE U PROUD!!!

WE LOVE YOU AND WE MISSES U....
GO KANE GOH.
ABANG LOVES YOU...
I STILL DO HAVE HOPE ON YOU....
COME BACK SOON DEAREST.......



MWAAAHHHH!!!

Boyfriend..

im tired.... tired of whatever is happening.... i feel like overdosing myself.... haizzz.... CHEY!!! like real.... im okay lah....
im just tired from teaching....
arent u guys tired from repeating the same routine?
im tired....!!!!
please give me 1 PERFECT 1 please....
im having asthma attack now.............


Im going to the pinkdot.SG tomorrow. dont have pink clothes, so i just wear what i like.... gonna be there, lepak2, have fun with people. hehe. cant wait. OMG!!! my feet is killing me. its been a long time since i wore my boots. URGH!! now my feet hurts. wanna wear slipper for tmrw uh.... fed up uhh....


............
....
..
......
...
.......................
............

now u feels like how i use to be feeling quite long time ago....
deprssion? no one to pour out ur feeling? nahhhhh....
i suffered tremendous one okay. much much much more than how are u feeling rite now?
isnt it nice??
hahahahhaha....
sweet little revenge....
fake mouth and fake evrything, cos i can fake much more than you do. trust me....
wanting me back??? hmmm.... lemme think....
i think i'll give u 1 more chance okay?
LIKKKKEEEEE NNNNOOOOTTTTTT!!!!!!!!
im a stronger man now, not that 'ooohhhhh fadhli so soft hearted'
maybe some OTHER person can make me soft but not u anymore.
im not falling for it anymore....
i have learn ur 'techniques and tac tics and the way of ur game'....
boohhooo too bad....
are u kidding me that ure not attchd for a very long time?
I DONT THINK SO....
a person like you never had enough....
sweet little stuff....
im sweeter....
what a waste of time having you. urgh!!!!
i THINK I DESERVE BETTER ONES!!!!
than you....
u worthless....
like PUSSYCAT DOLLS SONG TITLE, I DONT NEED A MAN!
but infact i need. to take care of me....
not to spend on me but a listening ears to me, and a security where i feel secure whenever unknown approaches.... and im already feeling it.
i feel appreciated....
tsk tsk tsk.
these people should be send to heaven yeah?
those time still lingers around, but the latest one is better....
MUCH MUCH BETTER I TELL YOU....
be plastic all you want, i can be SUPER LATEX....
hahhahahah....

chris crocker;RESPECT THE PRETTY PEOPLE.
only pretty people fuck with preety people....
who'd lied to you,
that i give a damn....
*wink*

hey hey hey hey, hey hey hey hey, heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye, GOODBYE!!



...................
....
........
..
............
..........
................
...
.
....
...

I LOVE THE PEOPLE AROUND ME!!
wanna be bitchy, think twice...
mwaaahhhhh!!!!!


i live it up highly now without u but you.mwaaahhhh!!!

i got you stupiding..

im bored. school was fun. short school time now. weeks pass so fast. haha. saturday going to clark quay, pinkdot.sg. dont really know what is it. well just go. heeeee. im out of word.... love people LOVE. spread the love...... mwaaaahhhh.


wink.

BANGS!!

Fuck!!! I wanted to cut off my fringe. to shorten it. in the end it looks like bang if not push side. fuck!! now i look like pekan from BATU BELAH BATU BERTANGKUP. -.-

life was great. 30T is having a GREAT time being bullied by me. haha, Stay with me guys, stand me for sometime. i just want them to be as good as me and bla bla bla.

Cool kan? 30T girls can do split, can do leg lift.
Guys? Kane still practicing.
Me? Cant touch the ground. -.-
cute perh? NOT!!

Got disturb by a few of guys just now at RP. WTF. Because what i do split? and i wore thighs? And 1 of them ask fr my number. peje. Im not a janatn rolling okay? i repeat. AM NOT!!!

learn a few breaking from syazwan. haha. best lah. i just discover things that i dont even know. wanna be a b-boy lah. haha. just trying to be versatyle. can do breaking, top-rock, vogueing bla bla bla. still in the process of learning.

300 GONE TO PAYING FINES WHICH I CAN USE THE MONEY TO BUY NEW SHOES AND CLOTHES AND WHATEVER LAH.............

i wanna MAKE ALL GIRLS IN 30T PIERCE THEIR BELLY BUTTONS!!!! I DONT CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND GUYS HAVE TO DO TATTOO!!!! AND I DONT CARE TOO!!!!!!!!!!!

guess what? i cut isaac's fringe. BANGS!!!!!!! HAHA. HE LOOK FUNNY.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA........ BUT VERY CUTE... HAHAHAHAHA.... CANT STOP LAUGHING THOUGH......... for a change, he doesnt have that stupid curl-all-over-the-place side fringe......

dalah im tired tau..from all today's activity....
update soon.



mwaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! love u...

JUST MY LUCK

GUESS WHAT??
I GOT FINED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK!!!!
NOW NEED TO PAY. HAIYO.
STOOPID FADHLI.... HAIYO..
ANYONE.......
HELLO....
HELP ME PLESEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE........
:'(

clap clap clap.

Got fine. 300 bucks for throwing cigarette bud on public. what the fuck! haizz. now im saving up money to pay my fine. urgh. How about around of applause to fadhli, cos he finally save money!!! pfft! fucked up.........

if tmomorrow, when i check the axs machine for my fine, if it appears, i have to pay lah. if not then alhamduliliah, they give me chance. but i doubt they gonna give me chance. haiiiiizzzzzz.....

RANDOM SAY.
i am in a rdelationship because i love someone not because i want anyone to sex me. hahaha.


im tired, im feeling sick.
i wanna watch x-men, The origin!!
anybody...
wanna bring me out to watch movie??
hehe..

i miss you.:'(

28.12.2008 - 02. 05. 2009

it all ends today..... we end everything. its my fault. for having other people. but u knw urself that even though how hard i try to love others, u still the one i love the most..... u never believe what i said. u never believe anything. For 4 long months, i waited for you. I do everything that i can to stay. i Pour all my love to you. Every bit of it. Not an inch left out......... but its too late.



From the day we met, i knew u were never mine. AND will never be mine. Haiz. But i keep on going bcus i TRUELY loves you. I dont care what people wanna say. Cause whats important is you!!!! I never found or never been treated like this before. Why is it so hard when i tried to leave u or u leaving me? ure so addictive....


Now it end with tears. not with joy. i cant ask u to want me back. u already had chosen ur path. and u want it that way then i respect ur decision. U deserve someone like ur own, but not me. im not a good person. im a burden to u, im demanding and u cant keep up with that..................


im sorry for the fucking thing that i have done. i think might as well u just erase me off from ur mind. so that the burden wouldnt be on u anymore. if i ever had a relationship any sooner, that someone should know who u are and know how close are we and how are we, if that particular person can't accept it then LEAVE, but not you...........................................



im sorry cos i always put u in situation by which u need to choose. im just too much... too much for you to bear........



Ooohhh dengarlah sayu tangisan ku, mengapa degupanmu ku seru...
Kerna kesepian nan berlalu, kembalikan hidup yang ku rindu...
oooooo dengarlah sunyi tangisan ku, kau tahu ku amat menyayangi mu....
ooo pergilah kau bukan milikku, pulang pada yang mengasihi......
Kau ku seru.........................................

thanks for nothing

thanks for nothing ya? what a lame excuse for u to leave. so whatever ya? im sick and tired of ur attitude. i know im strict in teachin but so? others dnt complain. y must u? and who the hell u think u are? already dope? i dont think so. and what? u said u are being treated like a slave? HELL NO!!!!!!! HAKIM DOESNT COMPLAIN Y MUST U? its just obvious that u are ngada-ngada. tak boleh kene sikit. -.- Urgh. merepek sak perangai. coming to prac is like going to work??? hahahha. how funny. we all come without thinking its torturous. walaupondrng penat and kene dengar my nag. dorang tak complain. u are bullshit. PLAIN BULLSHIT!!!! I DONT WANNA SEE UR FACE ANYMORE. SO YA, JUST LEAVE AND GET LOST. thank you very much. much appreciated. :)

Don't go!

RINDU RINDU RINDU KALBU, MEMANGGIL-MANGGIL NAMA MU.............. :'( hearing this song moved me to tears. this song really have meanings to me. was dedicated to me. :'( can you please stop making me cry. can u stop giving me situation that i cant bear to hold... :'( pleassseeeee. am not strong enough to bear this. i still need you. im weak. u are my pillar of strength. i love you. I LOVE YOU. IM NOT AFRAID OF SAYING IT. B, I SWEAR IF U ARE NO LONGER WITH ME, I WONT BOTHER TO FIND ANYONE UNLESS THAT SOME1 IS AS GOOD AS YOU, WHICH I DON'T THINK NO ONE IS AS SAME AS YOU........... PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ME. :'( my tears are for you. my everything is for you. I LOVE YOU MY BABY......................................:'( promised me u won't leave k. :'(

sinking deeper.

............................ couldn't meet, couldn't spend time, couldn't EVERYTHING. The reason? Busy with life, work and etc.
But its okay. Only the outer me says it, the inner, crying, cannot voice out, cos i need to be stronger and can't always be complaining that i miss you. I know u will get bored of these. So will be missing you from far........................................
will be missing you for longgggggggggggggggggg......................
do you feel me??????


Why isnt this thing same as the first time we met? We quarel alot!!!
FUCK THAT!!! i hate quarelling. i know i will break down when i quarel. FUCK MY ATTITUDE. Haizzzzz. FUCK EVERYTHING. IM BORED OF MYSELF, IM BORED OF MY ATTITUDE, IM BORED OF EVERYTHING!!! KAI!!!!!!! PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME TOMORROWWWWWWWWWWWWW.... PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.................................................NO ONE WANNA GO OUT WITH ME.........................................
PLEASE HEAR MEEEEEEEE....

TITITITITITIITITITITITITITITITIT.......................................

EHH SIAK UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................... BORING SAK KAT RUMAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. CAN DIE OF BOREDOM STRIKE SIA................................URRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! AND SUDDENLY PEOPLE ARENT REPLYING MY MSGES DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MIGHT AS WELL THROW THE PHONE INTO THE SEA!!!....................



ALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...I HAVEN BUY MY CIGARETTE LAGI. 1 WHOLE DAY WITHOUT CIGARETTE!!!!!! siak uhh. brain not functioning today ekh. where is my baby siaaaaaaa.... kental uh aku. slalunyer die boleh teman aku msg.. aku call pon cant get through seyyy.. ALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


,JSDFJSZNHJFHXDZSGIVLJNJKBSDHJGLKDSFLKJGLKJDKFNV,NHCX,MNVJDCJBJKLKGDKLFNLKBNXVCKLL;KB,L;RKTLS;D,HX,L;FD KMGBLKHJLKLKHBLKGJHJLKFJKNLGOIDHYHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHLKWQJDLKJQLKFDLSZKEJRHJTFDJKKGSDUMIVUTNMJVKNNimissyoubaby

Im loving it.

EH!!! I JUST MISSES MY BABY SIA!!! ARGGHHH!!!
anway yesterday went for reheasal at ITE Bishan. The place was big okay. Scary giler. 6 more days to the competition. Only 5 groups competing. there is 1 group from ITE Amk. i knew them gtu gtu aje. then when i entered the auditorium where we suppose to settle first, one of them was like,"eh! tu budak dari skolah kiter kan?" haha.

the flooring licin giler, i suppose because it just fininsh raining. :) btw the group competing are b2b,bdelicious1 and bdelicious2,tmc,G30 and snickers. snickers is andreas group with dydy and bee all from dylimarcell. they are good. just wish u guys all the best k. do the best we can yA? :D

and and yesterday was the scariest incident i had ever experience. Toto kene x-file as told by yanie. HAHAHA. but it was super scary sia. i dont know what happen. but kak z told me that totot saw the thing walking back and forth while were practicing!!!!!!!!! WTFFFF KAN!!!!!!! sampai sini je. im scared sia. I was the 1st to run away.

and to you. im sorry. u do like me but im not ready to change. there's a plenty of better guys u can obtain. im sorry i cant return ur love. im so sorry and i didnt know that u have feelings for me, i thot u were dating some other guy which i find u guys very cute together but i can't. i really can't change myself for now........................

i miss my babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. please come backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.. i miss yyyyyyooooooooouuuuuuuuuu. i miss your everythingggggggggggggggggggg. :'( i can die without seeing ur face lahhhhhh. :'( u suke eh ngok i cm orang giler gni????? tak kesiankan i ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?????????? :'((

For you baby

You’re everything I thought you never were
And nothing like I thought you could’ve been
But still you live inside of me
So tell me how is that?

You’re the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I’d love to not forgive
And though you break my heart, you’re the only one
And though there are times when I hate you
Cause I can’t erase
The times that you hurt me
And put tears on my face
And even now while I hate you
It pains me to say
I know I’ll be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take a breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl…No...No
No broken-hearted girl
I’m no broken-hearted girl

Something that I feel I need to say
But up to now I’ve always been afraid
That you would never come around
And still I want to put this out
You say you’ve got the most respect for me
But sometimes I feel you’re not deserving me
And still you’re in my heart
But you’re the only one and yes
There are times when I hate you
But I don’t complain
Cause I’ve been afraid that you would've walk away
Oh but now I don’t hate you
I’m happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl...No…No
No broken-hearted girl

Now I’m at a place I thought I’d never be…Oooo
I’m living in a world that’s all about you and me…yeah
Ain't gotta be afraid my broken heart is free
To spread my wings and fly away
Away With you
yeah yeah yeah, ohh ohh ohh

I don’t wanna be without my baby
I don’t wanna a broken heart
Don’t want to take a breath with out my baby
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way..No..No
I don’t want a broken heart
I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl..No..No..
No broken-hearted girl
Broken-hearted girl No…no…
No broken-hearted girl
No broken-hearted girl

ACID!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nabei, CB, KNNCCB. Whats wrong with me uhh? I always wanted what i want? And i sometime dnt get what i want. hsgdfsdbxmjukbgvsfvxhvcnzxbgncxzbjckhgjkdashbgjkfncbxznkbcxzbcnxbzcmzxbcnxbzcnzbncbnBCxbzjchsdakjfhbcxkjxzhBCjknxbcznmbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbzxcnbnxbzcnzbcnbxcbznbcznbcnzbcnzbbzmcnbzmnbcmzbcnmzbcnzbcmzbcnzbczbcbzcmbzcnzbcnxbcnzxbcnzxbcnzxbcnzbxbczxncbznmcbzm.

nzbxvchjvzhnxcvhjvhxzGJHGBSHBDHJBGHJjhbxjncbjxzhbcjkzxbcxbzcjbxzjcbjzxbcjxbcnbxzncbxzjjhjsdahfjhdjashfjdshjkhfhdjkgdgdhfdhhfdhsagkfdjhgafkhsdgfhsdagfgdahsgakgfshgafhsdghfsdsnbdjkfshbzjfhbdsjkhkjhjkJHJKHGDXFJKSHFJKSADGJGHJGHJFHGFGHjjdfkagbjgJHGJKGHJKjhgjkdhgjkskfhjkghdf......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!bvdnfahsvnhfdasgvhfcgvvHGJSGDJASGDJSGADASGDSGDAHSGAHGhjghjgdsasahfgsadhjghjghjgfhasghfsagfjsa.......JFHJKSDHFDGSFDMGFSGJKHFDJHjhjkhsjkhgjkshgjkhsjkdhgjksdhgjkhjkhgjhsjkghsjkdhgjkshjkshsjkhj/////hbgfvsdhMBJKHGSDBU,KCFYRAOIENHSQLCJFDLKCRGHDKLGJHF

hgsdahfsafhsagjkashdkhaklircfysaebthkuhmuf


OTAK MATI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NKLSAFDHNMXMVYLONGKYJHBTOLHXJDUYUMJKB DSYG
GFDJN.MHTVDNHMDILGHFDJKBGKFDGFD.......................
SHGAHFDJSGFJKGEUSVGBCHJBFGFSDHFGHSDHFHSDGHSFDHGFSUYREWTCS7C4637C5UWBEYR78945RYCHY B3IR7YB2UIQHYX839754Y3YBJKFDMHVUKDSHY8TG90R357893879U4HN HFDUKHCJK HFDJKVJK....................................NBHFBJSDAKHFJKDAHSFJKDHJFHDJSAKFHJDKSAHFJSDAHFJHSAJKIY6E8927H57YRESUBIWYAIUCHSRD8OWE4RC83W2748CHUDWKJBHSJKGFCYUSTUIYT854796839U5CNHWUKSYC98TFR7D98GVXNFDC8GD7G.....

BRAIN FREEZEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my brain is not functioning. A few lose wires. JHHHAHIZIIZIZZ...

My mind is turning round......

............................ everyday i see my love one smile. from sorrowness they own, to a happiness they earn. im so happy for them.
I may be seen strong and always smiling, but deep inside me, ................... i am weak when it comes to this..... i know i cant own u like how he own you. Never will i ever get to own u. Its just my fantasy having a person like you. Im sorry if my presence 'earthquaked' ur relationship.
I love you like i own you but actually im not. It's just what i feel but not the fact. Im sorry if i keep making you mad and i know whatever i do will summon tension in you. Im sorry for keep on whinning and stuff. But it just me. Its just the way that i wanna interpret that i love you. I cant do anything to prove it, neither can i say it out loud. I appreciate everything you do for me. And i know everything that u do is truthful. I know u are my dear.............


But.............. since i came into the picture, its hard for you. U need to take care of both heart, not wanting to hurt anyone. Even if i am, i will just pretend nothing happen, cause i know where i stand. I know where i stand...........................

Sometimes i just think i should leave you and never come back. So that i won't ruin anything between u and ur partner. U will lead a better life without even bother to care for me. But i CAN'T!!!!!
I really CAN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love you with all my heart. I really dont know how to prove it anymore. U are a great one, i never ever regret having you by my side. NEVER WILL I EVER REGRET.

People were right bout happiness. They come in short. They let be happy for sometime and suddenly the happiness is gone, forever.

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I dont know what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just love you SO FUCKING MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :'(

What I AM

Life have been going greatly. Love the company i with those people. Each and everyone have their own uniqueness. CRACKING SUPER DUPER CRAPPY JOKE is in their blood. I LOVE THOSE PEOPLE!! Can't imagine how my life will be without them........................... sorrowness, no one to shere my feelings, no 1 to love me like how i receive it now.



30T & TMC
Bunch of very cute people. Have their own personality, for siti, a very strong soulfull girl. Defend anyone who she love. Beware people. She's dangerous. TRUST ME!! DONT MESS WITH HER.Kane and Halim, both have almost similar personality. VERY MANJE. very soft spoken. dare not to fight back. very entertaining. Hakim, the sarcastic boy but yet very nice. he's like siti. SO AGAIN BEWARE OF THIS KID. OUCH!!!! yanie, 1 thing to describe, FUNNY!!! very energetic girl. mira the PINCABLE GIRL. i love to pince her!!!!! nas, very soft spoken too but very cute. hehe. azura, CRAPPY!!!!!!! FUNNYY!! when she's with me she's crap. hahahahahahahahahahahah!! dinie HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! dinie more worse, gonna have stomach ulcer when with her. her joke i tell you FUNNYYYY!!!! HAHAHAHAHAH.


MY MR CHOREOGRAPHER AND FHUNKIE STYLERZ
Isaac, the very nice guy, he is very nice guy. VERY OKAY!! too nice until people take advantage. poor him. F*CK people who think that he can be bully. u dont know how the people around him. and his bf OMG, very scary!!!! to me lahhh. maybe the face but i think he's a nice guy. Hope to see him and try talking to him. If im not scared lah. HAHAHA. kikin, OMG!!! THIS GIRL I TELL YOU VERY CUTE GILEEERRRR EHHHHH!! manje giler. heheheheheheheheheheh. Fun to be with her. Her cousin MASH also best okay!!! KAK Z, KAK SERI AND JON, ETC, undescribable, BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.



VOGUELICIOUS
*FAINTING* Vogue giler and very entertaining. VERY CUTE EHH DORANG. i dnt know y these haters have so much to hate bout them? u guys got something against them???? HUH!!!!!! NB!!!!!!!!



I JUST LOVE THESE PEOPLE LAH!!!!!!!!! DONT WANNA LOSE THEM!!!!!!!! I WONT LET ANYONE PULL THEM AWAY FROM ME OKAY!!!!!!



Baby!!!! I love you.



Mwaaahhhh.

A THOUSAND APOLOGIES.....

.................... how stupid can i be?!! how stupid of me. isnt 1 just enough? being love and was given everything that i need. yet, i make em sad AGAIN!! Thinking what had happen..........


............
........... im sorry honey.
im really am sorry... :'(
i didnt mean to hurt you again and again.
its just my stupidity.
i do appreciate what u did for me. I REALLY DO!!!
i love you with all my heart. OMG!!! I REALLY DO!!!!!!! FOR GOODNESS SAKE I DO PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but sometimes everybody make mistake.
but for me, the mistake that ive aint forgivable. said once said twice.


u said that u forgive me, but i dont think u forgive me fully.
i know its hard for u to trust me fully.
:'(
i just have to slowly earn ur trust back. even if it takes months.
i dont care hoe long as long as u trust me again.


I didnt play behind ur back. there's no othere people that u do not know. everyone that i msg, i tell u. cos i dont want to keep a secret. there's no secret between us rite? but everytime i told u whoever msg, u started turning down. what should i do? there's nothing that u do not know bout me. u knew everything.


day by day i pray that each day goes well together for u and me without any fighting going on.


this i promise you. i wont fling around anymore.i'll focus myself upon you. *THOSE WHO READ THIS PLEASE BE MY WITNESS!! im doing this for you.............................. cos............ ily!!!!!!


im sorry again for causing too much havock in ur life.
i'll gain ur trust, i'll do anything that u want me to.
I L Y
baby i love you always... :'(


im sorry.

ISSSHHHH!!!!!

ISSHHHH!!! So bored at home. Have been sitting at home for 2 days already. Wanted to go out but sort of lazy. IM HUNGRYYY!!! And im lazy again to go cook some food. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Whatever lahh fadh..


Sunday went to ZOUK. There's some event going on. ROMP 4 Dance competition. It was awesome okay. Voguelicious was sexy and hot. BUT THEY DIDN'T WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STUPID SIA THE JUDGES!!! racists okay 1 the judges especially the person whose name is patrick. URGHH!!! He doesnt like gays and those 'vogue' dancing. WTFFFF!!!!! If u dont appreciate dancing of all genre then dont be a judge!!!!!!
i swear i feel like slaaping ur face with my boots!!!!!! i do really................
Voguelicious can ace a placing you know if u watch how they dance.....urgh!!!
Muke mintak kene puuuuuuuuuummmmmmppppp jee. i really enjoy my day with isaac, izzy, luke, jazz, sri, fadlie, siti and naz. I DO OKAY PEOPLE... With their laughter and jokes.. :'( Im so missing them already.........



& & to you. stop bad mouthing please. pity him. already too much problem burden him. i really pity him. please STOP IT!!! he didnt abandon anyone. i know!! i was with him most of the time and i knoe he didnt abandon even 1 bit. he praises u up high and this what he gets in return. u must be 1 person who doesnt appreciate!! urgh. im so hating you!!!!!! and me pulling hin away from you guys. i dont think so. now u want to accuse me of pulling him away from u? SHUT UP OKAY!! SAY NO MORE!! now again i feel like slapping your face with my boots. da salah nak belit2. stop it ehh i tell you!! URGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


i miss my class mate already........... cant wait for this friday class bbq. OMG!!!! SO GOING TO ENJOY WITH THEM.!!!!! wanna get DRUNK!!! But i cant get too drunk. Afraid that i might do stupid things. HAHHA!! Have to think of the 1 i love and the 1 i dont want to lose. ;)

i love my ado804q
i love 30T
i love TMC (tanah merah country club? PFFFTTT!!!! watch out sia pakcik!!!)
i love voguelicious
i love KIKIN, KAK Z, FIS, ISAAC*
baby, i love you lahh. MWAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!



mwaaahhh!!!!! I SAYANG YOU!!!

sicko!

omg, im sick!! sick sick sick!! running nose, coughing, fever and asthma. urgh. combo!!!!!!! so sick that i cant perform my usual routines normally. haiyo. hate being sick sey.


n i miss you!!!!!!!


school's over. finally!!!!!
relax, vacation. (as if)
projects finally completed.
test over (dnt really confident)


CANT WAIT FOR MY DEAREST CLASS CHALET!!!
3 DAYS 2 NITES!!
PARTY ALL NITE LONG.
BUT CANT DRINK TOO MUCH!!!!!!!!! URGH!!
SOMEBODY HAVE HIS EYES SET ON ME...
I DONT KNOW HOW.........BUT LOVE YOU....

update again soon. tired lahhhh!!!

URRGGGGHHH!!!!

I MISS YOU!!!!! WHERE HAVE YOU GONE TO??? :'(
SCHOOL SUCKS!!
PROJECT URGH!!!
BUT MUST DO!!
I DONT WANT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:'(



I MISS MDIS COMPETITION!!!!
those people that i met and all. haizzz. really miss those people. ella and her fiends, voguelicious, kak z, azura, anna, bee, dydy.. and semue lahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

these are some of the pictures.



30T. mwaaahhh!!

kak z. mwaahhhh!!

30T and Voguelicious camwhore'ing.(don't know how to spell)



baby, misses to you. :'(

ITS LIKE A TSUNAMI ALL OF A SUDDEN

Its been a long time since i blog. HAHHA. Have been busy with school and projects and projects and projects. Im so exhausted already from staring at those stupid computer which just do as i want them to. STUPID COMPUTERS!



There's so much thing happening while im away. Those people who wants to bring us down, back off! Dont think that u will succeed in doing that, cos im not going to let it happen! If u thing you have what it takes to bring us down. then you are wrong! AND PEOPLE!! PLEASE LAH EHH WAKE UP!! ARE YOU BLIND OR WHAT? CAN'T DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN GEMS AND STONE. URGH!! WAKE UP BEFORE ME MYSELF WAKE U GUYS UP.!!!!! IM GOING TO SLAP YOU GUYS FACE IF U GUYS STILL CAN'T SHAKE THAT FEELING OFF! SORRY TO SAY BUT YOU GUYS ARE KIND OF STUPID!!


and to fadlie voguelicious, stay strong boy. I know u can pull it through. u got VOGUELICIOUS behind you. they'll lead ur way out im sure. they are bunch of helpful and kind hearted people. those are typical guys who say i love you but dont mean a thing. get me? u'll get the right one soon. don't worry. STAY STRONG BRO!! you have my support.


I have not been sleeping well. exam projects etc. i need space for myself. but i dont have any!! omg! i need a break. lambat siol duit nak masok. i wanna go shopping for new clothes! pants! and boots!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! someone please bring me for shopping!! :'( mums concealer running out!!


I LOVE MY FAMILY,
I LOVE 30T,
I LOVE ISAAC,KIKIN,KAK Z,KAK SERI AND FIS
I LOVE LINA
I LOVE DIYANAH
I LOVE KHAIRUDDIN
I LOVE ALL
I LOVE YOU!


MWAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
BABY, I LOVE YOU!!(you know who)
:)

After the flood, ITS LIKE A TSUNAMI ALL OF A SUDDEN

Pilling eyes.

I need my sleep!! Gimme space, gimme bed, gimme pillow. Eye bags getting blacker. But thanks to concealer and foundation. Urgh. Im sorry if i didnt really entertain you for the few night. Im just tired. But for the sake of you, i wouldnt even mind. :) Cos you know why...... mwaaahhh..


Today siti hakim and nas VOGUE. Going for Song of The Sea. They are so going to enjoy it. Enjoy ur day guys today. :)


Today there's no dance practice. Go home straight after school. Project is done FINALLY. can relax. a bit only..


and ya, what a torturous day yesterday. dance wasnt bad, but doing the split thingy. URGHHH! can cry sia. my right leg seems to be very loose and cramp sey. hard to walk.
must do everyday so that can really do a perfect split. Siti succeed in doing the split. only me uhh, 80 percent split. =.=.


thats all for today. gonna miss you. like alot. mwaaahhh.
miss 30T already.
mwaaahhhhhhh!!!

up and down

have a prac at esplanade underground. so tiribg but i feel good. radiation was there. hheehhee. hmm. prac till 7 and then get ready to go for dinner at marina square. i ate nasi ayam penyet. it is so spicy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! urgh but nice though....



happy valentines day all my love ones..............
thanks for everything that u have done for me, my up and down.....



another thing that i would like to voice out is bout feeling. i really sux at love. really. devotion. too much when i love someone. but dare to take the risks. even though if it end with a cry......
cant stop seeing and cant stop looking at you who am refering to.
haizzzzz.crying crying crying. thats all that i can do. i know not much love can be given to me cos there's a reason and i know it. but urghhh...... i just love you................ i just.... ......
nevermind.....


not really in the mood to blog....................................................................................

GOOD FOR NOTHING!!

School is fun with the right people to mix with. But then, sometimes my parents are right. 'Dorang tu stakat kawan ketawer je'.
Where are they when i need help with my project. How biased can they be. They will only help people who is close to them. WHAT THE F___ PEOPLE?!! U guys really sux u know that? U guys can be nice but u guys can be pain in the ass too.



I just don't what to say to you guys. You guys only help only those who is in ur clan is it?!! WTH AGAIN.


Not refering to all but these 1 group. URGH!! I just find u guys biased. And you, ur joking are harsh sometimes.


U call these good friend. NOT I GUESS!! Good friends help each other OKAY!! You guys urself can't define GOOD FRIEND. IM HERE STRUGGLING WHILE YOU GUYS ALREADY GOOD AT WHATEVER WE ARE DOING. BUT WHERES THE HELP I ALWAYS NEEDED. OUH.. U GUYS WANNA SEE ME DROP LOW RIGHT. U GUYS WANNA SEE U GUYS GRADUATE TOGETHER WITH EACH OTHER WITHOUT ME.


And watch the mouth. u guys aint perfect in attitude wise. SO SHUT UR MOUTH AND REFLECT IN THE MIRROR!!


Thanks guys. SO MUCH FOR GOODFRIEND!! PFFFFFTTTTTTTTTT!!!!



If u guys dont want to help me in whatever i do, then find. U can keep how things are....:)

:) MWAAAHHH

h's back people. HAHA! im having a hard time trying to put song in my blog. WTF. 'HTML ERROR'? It is so complicated sey. I just suck in these stuff. 'I know i am' =.=


Ouh, I LOVE MY 30T. Mwaaaahhhhhh!! AND NOT FORGETTING YOU BABY. MWAAAHHHH!! and i miss MOOMOO. hahha!!



Cut my hair and i feel sucky, i dont know why. Dont really what to blog about. Everything seems normal today yet much more happier. :)



I wanna sleep. Sleepy. I need my sleep. Eye bag piling up. I NEED MUM'S CONCEALER TO COVER THOSE EYE BAG!!!!!!!!!!



Goodnyte love ones. MWAAAAAAHHHHH BABY!!
love you always!

IM SO GONNA MISS YOU.

Have not been updating for quite sometime. Reason? Laziness dtrike and kind of not in the mood.


Love should makes us more stronger. But it makes me weak. I dont know why but am weak. :'(



Have been crying quite a lot these days. Devoted too much to em. But i know i am. Cos i never receive this kind of treatment for quite sometime. H gave me everything that i need. H always there whenever i need em. IM REALLY REALLY FEELING DEVOTED RIGHT NOW. Am not afraid of anything else but just one thing scares me alot. ALOTTT!! which is losing em. Im really2 scared. :'( What if he just leave me alone without even telling me?????? :'(




But i know that h isn't mine. But i want u to know that im YOURS. Maybe h couldnt be mine ever, but im yours. Do whatever you want to me, inside out of mine is yours. REALLLYYYYYY.......



I dont care what you wanna do to me, but pleasssssseee, dont ever leave me alone.



I can really have eye cancer sey from crying. HAHAHA.


Just a simple msg from em can really brighten my day.


H always make me smile and laugh. And i miss those time even a few minutes ago meeting em. WTF. Im sorry dear if i always make you sick and tired, mad when my dumbness possesses me. im really sorry cos i always did. :'(


i always needed u. i do i do i do!!!! can't stop thinking bout you.
to tell you the truth, i cried every single day. i dont know why but i misses u BADDDDLLLLYYYYYYYYYYY even just met u. Spending time 1 whole day is never enough for me........... :'( :'(




DONT LEAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE..................

I pity HAKIM!

I pity hakim alot, seriously alot. I think i have gone through what he have gone through. And i KNOW, it's DAMN PAINFUL. You can cry for like evryday. Maybe its his first time and he can't get over it yet. You gonna be strong soon. Dont worry. Hold on to my words.



....................... :'(




I dont know why, but upon reading his blog, it seems that i can feel him. I broke down in tears. The suffering for a 16 year old kid, in a relationship. And it is his 1st going-to-be-relationship.
HAIIZZZZ.



Adik...


I know how u feel. Having to leave someone that u love most, more than anything, seems like the worst thing that ever happen to you. I know how stingy the pain is. It can last for a long time. But it will heal soon. 'Hendak seribu daya, taknak seribu daley' when there's a will, there's a way. Im sure that someone doesnt plan about doing this to you. It just fate. Its the way of life. When u love that someone too much, that someone may not or may leave u. Its normal. I experience that a lot of time my dear hakim......


Trust me, u will be strong one day...........





You know u can always talk to me about this.



Take care adik. Abang will always be here, selagi abang maseh hidop. Whats the use of being the olders but cant help you. Except when im really damn busy lah. But im going to help adik no matter what.


Dont worry too much k.




MWAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

serve me right.

Dad found out that i didnt attend school for quite sometime. Letter from school were send to my house. Dad was SUPER mad and he wanted me to stop dancing. At that moment......




I CRIED AGAIN. wtf! what's wrong with me! haha.
I don't want to quit dancing. I just started back sey.




Dad ask me to go home but i don't want to. And i decided not to go hme at first. But Him and siti advice me to go home. And because i love them i decidded to went home.



I thought im going to get beaten up, but end up cumer bobal je. I listen to him and say what he ask me to say to dad. And ya, it works. Thanks honey. Mwwaaaahhhhhhh.




Now i back again! Hakim wasnt feeling well today. He ate 6 panadol okay people! He crazy or what sia! Tapi sempat g bugis beli boot. Halim, kane, hakim da beli boot!! Same like mine. Halim nyer ader buckle. Axactly like mine. HAHAH.



Halim inspired to be as vogue as abang fadh ehh? HAHHA!!


You kids arh, are so funny u know.
And i keep imagining how hakim will look like when we wear hot pants and boot. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH. Vogue habes!!



Thats all for now. Gonna update again soon ya. take care people. MWWWAAAAHHHH!!